Finances

[Lollipop20]

What do you guys do with your finances as a couple? We are married, have a 3 year old, have our own savings, both earn well but we still have separate finances although partners earned £35K more than me last year ( we split our bills 50/50 and he pays for most things like shopping/fuel/home related stuff etc). Im just curious what other peoples ‘norm’ is for finances as a couple really and how you work them?

Your finances are not separate since you’re married. Do you mean you each have your own bank account?

We have a joint account for mortgage and bills; both put the same amount in per month. Dh earns about 20k more than me; no kids. He pays when we go out for dinner usually

We don’t have any joint accounts at the moment. We did in the past when we moved overseas and needed to open a new bank account, we opened a joint one, both had salaries paid into it, paid bills from it, both had completely equal access.

Back in the UK now and we have separate accounts, simply because we both use the accounts we had pre marriage. The savings are in an account in my name but we both consider these to be joint savings. We also always move money between us freely whenever required and have literally never had any disagreements over money.

We pool all earnings in a joint account and, after accounting for all bills and family related costs, each move an equal amount of surplus money to our individual account for personal spending money.
We think this is the fairest approach and can flex the amount spending money according to our household income at any given time.

We have a joint account and our own. Our savings have the same in and we consciously have it like that so that not everything is in one place although consider the savings pots as shared funds anyway.
On a monthly basis we put all our salary but a set amount into the joint pot. It means regardless of who earns more, (this has fluctuated) we both have the same "personal" money to spend on gifts for each other, extras that maybe the other would prefer not to spend on.
I don't get people in LTR who split bills 50/50 yet one earns more than the other. It just means that one person has more spare cash to splurge on that the other and that doesn't scream "team" to me.

We have separate accounts we get paid into, and we move a percentage of what we get each month into our joint account which all joint spending comes out of (mortgage, bills, groceries, meals out, etc). The percentage is enough it covers our bills plus some and if the amount gets high enough we move some to a joint savings account. We also have separate savings accounts.

Means if someone (like for example overtime) they get to increase how much they get. Also one of us is the type and the other is the type to save up lots of money and splurge on bigger things and we didn't want either to feel guilty or feel like we had to discuss these things. However, we are very easy going about it, like when we needed a new car we used non equal money from our savings account and didn't quibble or anything.

Being MN, my situation, I believe, is unique in the sense that it's ok with my wife doing this, but would be abhorrent if it was me doing this.

We both put an equal amount into a joint account for mortgage and bills etc, and it's always been that way. My wife earns double what I do, but I insist her money is hers as she's earned it. Why should I be entitled to her wealth simply because I've married her? The money that goes into the joint is what we can both afford, with the rest to do with as we please.

I don't believe in the classic MN line "he earns twice as much, so he should contribute twice as much to the bills etc", why?... we use the same!

We have joint finances, all income and savings are completely shared. We have the same financial goals for our family and our futures. Been doing this for 14 years now although we've only been married for 4 years.

We opened a joint account when we got married and all money goes into it. Over the years there have been times when DH was the higher earner and times when I was.

All money that we get other than birthday and Christmas money is OUR money. We both feel it unfair just because one person earns more for that person to have more money to spend.

This only works if one party hasn’t been disadvantaged in their career over the years by maternity leave and taking on the majority of childcare, emergency sick days etc

We have separate bank accounts; DH pays more for bills as I’m part time due to looking after our DC. Shopping and trips out are shared but if one of us has more due to work bonus etc then we’ll pay for something. Mostly it works and I don’t want a joint account for everything.

You do know that not every married couple lives like this?

We have completely seperate finances. Both pay equally for living expenses and anything we each have left over is our own.

@Floofydawg I’m the same, but obviously married couples are financially intertwined, legally.

Our finances are all completely separate.

however we treat it as “joint” money. I pay bills and general spending. Dh pays as he goes, if one of us run a short the other pays. If there’s anything left it gets shoved in a savings account for emergencies.

big personal purchases we’ll discuss first but generally we have the autonomy to do that if it’s something we want/need.

but both of us are reasonable with money.

We have our own bank accounts which our wages get paid into. We then have our individual direct debits set up for our personal stuff eg my car, gym membership etc. we have a separate joint account that all our household bills come out of eg mortgage, utilities etc - we generally put the same amount in each month as we earn similar amounts. Food shopping is done separately, sometimes we take it in turns, sometimes I spend more - it generally works out well for us and both feel it’s fair.
I can choose to work extra hours which I usually put towards things like treats, holiday etc. DH is taking a retirement lump sum this year and he will spend a portion of that on stuff we’ve agreed to get done around the house.
we also have a savings account and each month we both save a set amount and this is used for Christmas spending money.

we haven’t always earnt equal amounts and it has caused friction in the past but generally now it works out well

Everything combined.
Savings combined.
Bills from joint account.
We each have £500 a month for essential and non-essential spending, but we share this really since if one person runs out the other person starts paying (often just who goes to the supermarket or buys petrol the most) or we transfer more from savings.

Everything separate. We split all the bills, I have some considerable extra expenses for my DC from first marriage which I would not expect DP to fund, likewise he has lots of sports-based subscriptions that have nothing to do with me! We do help each other out if one of has a big unexpected bill (eg car repair)

We are married, so her money is mine and vice versa. I earn 8 times more than her, due to her health etc, but that doesn’t matter because it is joint money. We don’t have a joint bank account though as they wouldn’t give us one due to bad credit rating!

Separate accounts here, including savings. When we first moved in together we had a spreadsheet, but abandoned that years ago.

He paid more when he earned more. Now I pay more as I earn more.

The key is financial openness. We both know what our income and outgoings are and we discuss any major spends.

Joint account for the vast majority of our money, then separate accounts where we both get equal "personal" money a month. DH earns £10K more than me.
We also have separate savings accounts but that's more just because we had those when we met. The savings in them are not "mine" and "his" and we consider it combined when making large purchases, and we both know how much is in each account.

We are married and have been together a couple of decades

We earn about the same (can vary for either of us depending on bonuses each year).

Everything goes into the joint account and all bills come out of that. Also all household costs like groceries, petrol, pet food etc.

Joint savings account- set amount goes in each month. Bonuses and any additional money goes in here. Whatever is left in the joint account on the day before payday goes in here too.

We each have a personal account that £400 goes into for each of us each month. That’s for personal spends but if we need more we just transfer from the joint account.

Two reasons to provide a different proportion to a joint account: either one person earns grossly more and the outgoings reflect their lifestyle and/ or someone has sacrificed their earning potential for the family

We aren't married but have 2 kids. Our money is separate and we pay 50/50 on bills. There's about 20k a year difference in our wages but we both have the attitude of we use 50/50 and own half the house each so the bills should be split evenly. Obviously that's not how a lot of people do it but it works for us.

I earn significantly more than DH but we split all house bills, food shopping etc 50/50. Both get paid into our own accounts and send money to a joint one for the above. I tend to pay for more things than him like family meals, days out etc (which as I’m the higher earner works for us) and use my bonus to pay for holidays. Him being a teacher saves us a fortune in holidays childcare so that works out well for us…plus he tends to pay for stuff they do in the hols while I’m at work.