Ex baiting me to argue

[Cakeandsprinklesparty]

How do you deal with it? Left ex as was constantly triangulated with other women and hated me having male friends but he's saying I'm insecure and controlling. I've had a clare law disclosure too.

I ask him not to message and I keep getting abuse. He won't allow me to return his stuff unless I come over. I don't want to. I spoke to a counsellor as accusations getting me down. I left him 4 weeks ago. He says his relative in hospitsl so I have to wait for him to come back as it will get lost in post. I just want to get him out but he's hurling insults at me saying I never cared for him and I don't care his relative is ill.

You know what he is doing, so good on you for recognising it!

How much stuff are we talking about? And Is his stuff the only tether he has to you?

Is there a third party, his parents or a sibling or a workplace you can organise a taxi to drop his stuff to? If he cant think of anyone in his life he can act as a third party, recorded delivery, end of.

Block him.

Grey rock all the way. Feel it but don't say it to him - sound off to someone else about him and his behaviour but do not let him know how he's rolling you up because people like him get off on that. Expect him to act in the same way he's always acted; don't wonder why he isn't acting rational and reasonable because you know he won't. Block him on everything and communicate via a third party if at all possible. Send his stuff back through the post of it's small enough, otherwise just drop it off at his or a storage place or whatever - you don't have to wait for his permission because he's using that as a way of controlling you.

Post it, recorded delivery then block him. Do not engage further.

Tell him you will come over with the stuff, arrange a time then get someone else to take it. Hire a man with van if you don't have a suitable friend who would do that.

How much stuff? If it's not a lot film yourself packing it up weigh it on camera then take it to the post office get a receipt with the weight on it and block him

Literally a few tops but I want them gone so he can't use as excuse for contact. It took ages to get his address and he only gave it when I agreed to drop off but needed for satnav. Now he's pissed I'm posting. He just keeps hurling abuse I never cared about him and I'm horrible but that he trust me and jinks I'm gorgeous. Plan was to block once delivery confirmed.

How much stuff and is that the only link? Have you got any stuff at his you really want back? Anything replaceable I'd write off.

You mention post so I'll assume its not that much. Box it up, photograph the box, weight and the Royal Mail recorded delivery receipt. Send him tracking number and block. The delivery office will keep it for long enough for him to collect. I assume he's going home to change and shower at least from the hospital so can call and collect his parcel.

Just see it as an admin task to get sorted.

Cross post, deffo just post them then if it's only a few tops. Send them recorded as I say so he can't say they've gone missing falsely, text him the number and block.

He's had his chance with you and blew it. He doesn't get to waste your time now.