All those who have called police?

[Meesechelt]

Please advise if you can ? Name changed back to one that would explain some background .
mom in a position now that I realise the dynamics between me and husband are wrong. At times probably criminal but o don’t know .. I rang the police after being goaded to and cutting long story short ( sorry for expression) they turned up took away to separate for 24 hours I wouldn’t say where my egg on head came from no offences and they did a risk assessment. I agreed however to a referral to third party and I just wondered whether this is weeks or months down the line? I’m desperate not to call police again but he’s getting to the point where he thinks it’s all normal again by which I mean he just jokes about hitting and shutting up and how he loves me etc and I just thought I’d had my chance for him to go as they said the agency would help with something called occupational order I’m not sure? I’m panicking now . I can’t do this again .

Which country are you in?

Is there a refuge near you? They can offer advise or speak to one of the phone lines for domestic abuse. They can offer professional support and info on how to stay safe/leave

I’m in England . It’s the southwest charity they referred to I think called fear-less .

I also meant now in a position not mom sorry

Just sit tight and see if you can get some advice on Monday.

The police know that it takes many abused women many attempts to get away, including calls to the police and then not pursuing them. If you're ready, do it. And contact women's aid or similar for support.

Are you safe this weekend to be around him ? That's what's important
I went from
Police to womens aid and they helped sort out a solicitor for court for the non molestation order and the next steps regarding child
Please if you fear fro your safety do not hesitate to call them at any point

I think I’m safe yes. We haven’t crossed paths much because half term
and I’ve tried to stay away but when back for my birthday it’s like he reserves the nastiness specifically for those occasions then act like nothings happened and what’s worse for me now is him trying to
be close and be nice and inja to choose I think between rejecting him then be h “horrible” or just play it out then hate myself

I’m just concerned if I’ve called them out then can I call them again even if it galant yet resulted in me being hurt I’m just worried and I know that’s not enough to call anyone on but how else to I stop it. ?

Galant …” hasn’t yet “

@Meesechelt if he's threatening you then you have been harmed. You deserve better. Please leave

It am trying to . He hurt me when I’d called police last week . I was not prepared to say the lump on forehead was from
hjm but just wanted him out of house .. they were so so good I have so much respect for how they treated me I just don’t know now if I can call
again once ive called . There’s no imminent threat but just the dangling weird atmosphere that I’m scared a little bit can’t explain it so just desperately needing that agency they said they’d refer to if they would help me and kids ?

You must go to the police police then womens refuge. A leopard never changes its spots. Think how happy you could be without him in your life. Good luck 👍 💓

OP I'm a police officer, and I would strongly urge you to call them back when you feel able to. Tell them what you've written here and ask them what they can do to help you.

Not sure where in the country you are but the force I work in would be able to help you if you're ready to talk, or refer you to a number of different organisations that can help you, and if need be this can happen pretty urgently.

Most police forces do an online reporting/webchat option if you're not able to talk out loud or you can attend your nearest police station. If you're unsafe you can ask them to come out to you urgently, or meet you in a safe place. There's a lot of anti police stuff spouted on MN but even without knowing what police force area you're in I'm fairly confident there's support there for you if and when you're ready for it and don't ever feel like you're not allowed to phone the police again. You can phone them as much as you like.

Cross posted with your last message. He's assaulted you, if you feel able to phone them back and tell them what you've written here. They will likely have body camera footage of the lump in your head anyway and he can be dealt with for the assault if that's what you want to do.

Thank you Louisa I’m really certain they would be so supportive after last week they were lovely . However they’d referred me to the agency it ive not heard anything since the incident and now feel in this limbo land where now he is just suddenly acting how he is because I believe he thinks nothing can stop it . I’m in Devon and they were wonderful I can’t fault anything of the officers I just fault myself and now wish I’d said everything .

Yes there is body cam of head but not picture because id insisted not him

Dear heart.
You do understand that it’ll only take one more time where he seriously injures you - or worse. Correct?
Call them ASAP. While you’re still able to.

Call them every time. They will always take it seriously. Take up their offers of referrals for support. Speak to Women's Aid for advice on how to end things, and what support is available to you.
Women's Aid and the Police should be able to give you info on occupation orders. From my knowledge you have to apply to court for one, going through a solicitor makes it easier to manage. He is informed, a date is set for a hearing, maybe a week ahead, and provided there is sufficient evidence, which can be Police reports, evidence of physical assault is not required, then it should be granted. He won't be allowed near you or to contact you for the duration of the order.

Whatever you do, keep yourself safe and remember you matter.

I just wish I could be so strong and just be clear cut every day that I want this dealing with . He’s being so “goading”
again which just means it’s me that will react but I’m desperate not to.
I m searching anywhere to stay this week im
searching all options just so many variables . im
certainly so so sick of this I’m the one that’s in the wrong I’m the basket case I’m apparently unhinged ( maybe I am?)
im making him live like hes in a
concentration camp(?!) I’m genuinely only thinking I’m saying an opinion to him or trying I’m desperately sad right now . I don’t know what to do

Oh Goodness, you sound in a pickle here.

Your fella has you in coercive control situation here doubting yr sanity. Btw Coercive control is punishable by law. He can go to jail for that. So keep a log of all events past and present and report the fuckhead. And zero contact, remember that. Zero.

I work for the police and I can tell you now, you can call as many times as you need to! You will never be in trouble for phoning. He doesn't need to have done anything today. If you phone up and say that he has been assaulting you for a while and that you are scared to be in the house with him the police will be there in minutes! Please call, try and be honest and tell them what he has done (past and present) and follow their advice. You will get some space from him as he will be arrested. But they will help you with next steps whatever they are. You can do this x

Please tell the truth. Hard but you may not get the right support otherwise xx