What are your reasons for wanting sex?

[catconfetti]

Name changed for this.

I've realised my reason for wanting sex is to feel wanted and desired. But I only want to have sex with someone I have a connection with, one night stands have never been my thing.

I've been stuck in a sexless marriage with a man who just wasn't interested. It was miserable. Not for the lack of physical pleasure (I've always got more satisfaction from masturbating anyway), but because I felt so undesired and nothing I can do about it.

I don't know if this makes me a bit of a sad case (to want sex to feel desired, rather than for the physical pleasure).

It is totally normal to want this especially in your position.

I have lots of reasons for wanting sex including being desired and physical pleasure, and often I think the motivation on any particular occasion is different depending on my mood and other things that are going on.

Being able to analyse your own motives honestly in this way makes you the opposite of a sad case imo!
I don't see anything wrong in wanting sex as part of a loving relationship, to feel connected to someone else.
I think where it could be a problem is if loneliness is driving you to seek relationships with men who turn out to be emotionally unavailable.

Depending on my mood:

Pure physical desire
Closeness/connection
Comfort
Feeling desired/wanted

It's a perfectly normal reason for wanting sex. Sex is supposed to be mutual and reciprocal - to involve desiring and feeling desired, pleasuring and giving pleasure. Most people with their heads on straight would hate sex where they got off but that it was obvious that their partner didn't feel pleasure or desire.

Similar to you op. But actually found one nighters quite fulfilling in stroking my ego and making me feel desirable as I’d been chosen out if other available women and in one case was a bit of a cougar, pulling a got young guy 😂
Now in my married and happy relationship I sometimes want just sex for the stress release, sex for the closeness and intimacy, sex to feel powerful and desirable… sex for connection also. I don’t think there is just one reason. I hope that makes sense.