I'm curious

[Weeviking]

Sorry this might look like I'm a troll, but I'm thinking about my previous relationship and whether it was sexually coercive or not.

How does your partner react if you say you're not in the mood for sex?

It isn’t an issue, we move on with the rest of our day. I’m sorry if you’ve been treated differently.

He accepts it and that's that

So there's no being weird for 5/10 minutes? No moving away or being a bit off?

I've never experienced it before with another partner like that, they'd still cuddle etc if I had said no.

My dh would say okay and move on with it, I wouldn’t need to give a reason, a simple no is enough. However, I know people who have felt rejected and felt a loss of intimacy when their partner repeatedly said no over a long period of time. I know they have felt down if their partner has said no but it was more of a downer on themselves maybe not feeling attractive enough for their partner, not them being annoyed at the partner saying no.

I know it bothers my partner, as he feels rejected and takes it very personally.

But that's all, no arguments, no tension.

Maybe the odd 'it's been a while' if it has, but that's as far as it goes.

Yeah, it was very infrequent I said no, but I just didn't like the reaction or the atmosphere it created.

We were having sex very regularly.

It's not ok @Weeviking and I'l never put up with it in a relationship again. I'm single now but I hope to dump any that do that in future.

Well it depends.

The 'right' wY is for them to be fine and dandy .. say that's 'no problem' ..

The reality .. (gazillion threads on here with vastly different (and hypocritical) advice depending which sex you are..

If you are a woman being propositioned by your male partner , then he needs to accept No as an answer and to stop hassling you - no matter how many months /years it's been. If he feel's rejected then he need to get over himself...

If you are a woman and your husband continually rejects your sexual advances then you seriously need to consider LTB as who wants to live in a sex free marriage ??

Thanks @porrporridgeisbae, I wanted to verify I was the majority not the minority and think I am.

There is a little more to it in that he would never have sex without me giving him oral either. We spoke about how I was happy to do it sometimes but not every time and there were times he pushed me off him until he got what he wanted. Not violent but coercive in my opinion. I confronted him about it and he told me I was making myself out to be a victim.

My ex would keep on and on and on and then I would get angry and shout and then I'd have the whole 'you've changed' or ' you so boring' or 'see I can tell you don't love me' and then would be rude to be for the rest of the day/evening maybe even the next day sometimes. Ignore me or give me one word answers and refuse to cuddle and make snide comments. Made me fell rubbish

By husband though will just try and make me laugh if I say no and then say feel free to jump me if you change your mind and just hug and carry on as normal

Yes - forcing you to do a sex act that you don’t want to do is coercive. He sounds very selfish and somewhat of a poor lover if he needed oral every time.

@dery I mean I was always satisfied but yeah, a bit of an all round cunt to be fair.

You have confirmed my thoughts.