Me and dp's relationship has been very complicated and up and down for the whole nearing 5 year duration.
A couple of weeks ago I had a week were I felt extremely close to him but soon after that passed it was like someone hit a switch and now I'm struggling to stand him.
I feel really uncomfortable around him, don't look forward to him coming home. I stay up late because I prefer the sofa to sharing a bed with him. His touch literally makes me jump out of my skin. I suffer with bad anxiety and a hug from my partner used to calm me but it just makes me feel off.
I have no idea what triggered this (other than our obvious past flaws) but it did feel so erratic and random. Dp cried over the sudden change and called me bi polar. We have spoken about it and I've explained I can't quite place why I feel like this but I am trying.
I can see dp is trying now (be it maybe a bit too late) he has finally sorted us out a date in months and is bringing me home nice treats like he used to. But I just feel so frustrated and deflated with it all, as does he. We thought we was making progress after that good week and this feels like a giant relapse.
I am really trying to force myself but I can't make myself feel what I don't and its exhausting. It doesn't help that we live with his family and I feel like our relationship is on show and everything has to be perfect. His mum effectively told me our happiness is hers and that put a giant weight on my chest.
We have dc so it's not like I'm going to up and leave. We are due to be married next year too.
Help!