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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting medical history if no contact with family help

5 replies

Plushqueen · 01/06/2023 05:49

Hi
My teenager has been having some health issues lately and we’ve recently been referred to paediatrics at hospital who I’ve been told are going to possibly refer for a brain scan / neuro
The gp who referred said paeds will do tests and talk about family history before deciding if to refer for a scan . I think they’re trying to rule out epilepsy but it could be something else no one knows yet.

There has been a lot of loss in my family when I was a child , all I know is my sister was disabled and had cerebral palsy ( this is what I was told it was ) I remember her having fits and don’t know if also she had epilepsy or not. Sadly she passed away aged 18 , I was 6 and as I grew up I asked my mum how she was disabled I was told she fell down the stairs as a toddler. Growing up I’ve thought about that story whether it’s true and possible etc
Also my mum turned into a hoarder then as now as a adult I have little contact due to many issues and she turned out to be selfish putting a dangerous dog above myself and my children etc I don’t want to go into all the issues but we are almost zero contact and live far away from them.

Then my grandad died when I was 13 i think cancer but not sure , then my Nan when I was abit older again my mum doesn’t tell me what of I know she died suddenly there was a PM and all my mum told me is she was more unwell then thought.

do I tell the hospital there’s possibly epilepsy on my side as I’m not sure but with my sister having fits it’s likely?

If I ring my mum telling her I need to ask some difficult questions it would be hard as she don’t talk about this stuff but growing up I do have questions, she’s 70 now and I’m mid 30s just unsure because she will ask why I want to know medical history and get nosy and then she might not leave us alone and we’ve decided to cut out toxic people.

Also regarding her biological dad we are no contact he has not tried to have a relationship and washed his hands of his own DD 13 years ago he was abusive to us both yes when she was a baby he was jealous of her so relationship ended and I moved away when dd was 6 months old .
I know on his side his brother has learning difficulties but not sure about epilepsy I am really not wanting to contact him tho we are no contact don’t even have each others details so to contact I’d need to call his father’s business . His parents are useless to and said when I left they want nothing to do with there grandchild because I used there son to have a baby- this is not true we were together but then he turned out to be a abuser.

sorry for the long story so what advice please

OP posts:
lalalalalalaleeee · 01/06/2023 05:55

Just be honest
Tell the gp etc you have no contact with family so don't know any history. They will test for everything

DustyLee123 · 01/06/2023 07:43

I agree, just tell them you have no history as you are NC with family. If the family were all dead you’d have no way of finding out either.
You could always order your DS’s death certificate and find out what she died of.

ShadowPuppets · 01/06/2023 07:49

From a practical perspective it’s not a huge problem, family history can be useful but it’s not essential - DH has no medical history on his fathers side (his parents used a sperm donor due to infertility and records were extremely patchy as it was the 80s). When we had to give family medical history when booking in at pregnancy with our DCs we just explained and gave the scant details we had and it was fine.

From an emotional perspective, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot and I hope all is ok with your DC. My DH actually has epilepsy that came on as a teenager and he’s been seizure free (touch wood) for nearly a decade now that his medication is well controlled, so it is possible 💕

Plushqueen · 01/06/2023 19:43

Ok thank you for your replies

OP posts:
Zarataralara · 01/06/2023 20:03

I have to do the same when drs ask for family history but I’ve found out causes of death for parents, 1 x grandmother, 1 x sibling. You can obtain death certificates easily. This doesn’t give other health history though.

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