Hi all
Two months ago after 20+ years together (never lived together BTW), my partner announced our relationship has ended. We'd had some issues last year which we worked through and everything was fine up until I went abroad to see family for 3 weeks in January. Whilst I was away, he went to 'support' my friend (of 12 years) as her marriage to her wife had imploded as wife had had an affair. (To explain my friend never identified as being a lesbian, she just happened to fall in love with her wife who was a lesbian) They had been together for 27 years. When I returned from abroad there was a huge shift in our relationship - he was distant, very protective of his phone and hugely involved in our friends marriage breakdown - running from one to the other. I asked him to back off but he persisted and it became evident he was very much siding with my friend - encouraging her to seek legal advice and sharing information the wife had told him.
After a mere 6 weeks of him gaslighting and stonewalling me, we finished. (Boy he was busy).
You can probably guess where this is going.....he's hooked up with my friend. I think the emotional affair started when I was abroad.
At the moment they a vigourously denying anything is going on -probably because she wants an amicable divorce-but they meet up regularly thinking that no-one is aware.
What really angers me is that I know on the day we broke up, she drove 200 miles to his house and stayed the night. I didn't know this at the time and the next morning I sent her a text to let her know my relationship had ended. She was at his fucking house!! And sent a 'sorry to hear this - let me know if you want a chat'. I also know there have been lots of overnight stays at his house since the breakup.
The advice I'm seeking is......this weekend 'my friend' is going to visit her ex wife-probably to discuss the divorce. Ex wife does not know about the hook ups at his house. (My friend has been telling her ex wife that she is 'delusional') Do I send a message to them both whilst they are together making it clear to friend I know she's shagging my ex which also makes wife aware and therefore reveal her wife's true colours?
And as far as I'm concerned my ex is a disgusting, deceitful, prick and know I'm so much better off without him.
I'm also horrified to be involved in such a despicable drama.
Thoughts please.