Feel like a terrible wife

[blackdahliaa]

I have known my dh since childhood and have been married just over two years, we are both in our 30's first marriage for us both and never really been with anyone else, we have a one year old ds and another due in the winter, he is the most loving, generous wonderful person I've have ever known. Very hands on father, does anything I ask and is just all round amazing in every way. He owns his own company and is very successful and provides us with a beautiful home and the best of things.

The problem here is me. I feel like a mediocre wife on the best of days, I'm a sahm who is barely holding it together. Before marriage I was quite independent, I never felt like I needed anyone to help me in anyway but since being married my husband does so much for me that I have become very dependent on him in the worst way. I keep our home presentable and meals made, laundry done etc. the bare minimum basically. But I'm extremely moody, I don't enjoy socialising I snap at him for no reason and am prone to being quite depressed. I just feel like a terrible wife and like he deserves better, sorry this post has rambled on aimlessly but I lm just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat?

In a nutshell, my husband is amazing and I feel like an ungrateful brat who has nothing to complain about.

My first thought was that maybe being a SAHM doesn't suit you? I assume you had a career prior to your DS being born, have you considered going back? (Not the best timing with another little one on the way, but something to think about). In the meantime, are you getting any child-free time to yourself, at the weekends for example? A time not to have to be a mother and a wife but just be yourself.

You say you feel depressed. You don't have to feel guilty about that, or that you're being ungrateful. Lots of people suffer with depression, it doesn't care whether or not your circumstances warrant it. I think of the author Marian Keyes - fabulous, best-selling, a large family nearby and a basically a fantastic life. And sometimes depression hits her like a train. It's not logical, it just is. Have you spoken to anyone (health visitor?) about how you feel?

I hope this is the start of a process that enables you to get the help you deserve.

@SunflowerTed wind your neck in. What a nasty response!

@blackdahliaa I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I think it would be worth talking to your GP/Health Visitor. With such a young child and another on the way it's entirely possible you are depressed.

Tell us what you enjoyed before you became a SAHM, what did life look like then? Did you intend to return to work after DC1? What do you do to relax/hobbies?

Is your husband supportive? Does he know you are feeling like this?