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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Toxic in laws, what to do

5 replies

Sam2876 · 30/05/2023 22:25

needing some advice! My MIL has never liked me, she’s attacked me physically on numerous occasions without any reason. It’s always brushed under the carpet and never spoken about. My pattern decided to take a step back from them while still allowing them see our kids. He has stood up for me for a few months and now he’s going back to the normal relationship he had with them and everything brushed under the carpet. I’m still staying away from them but I feel alone in all of this. They have spun the narrative as though I’m the bad one when I am honestly the victim and now everyone is happy families except I’m on the outside. How do I tell my partner that I want him to be on my side for once? I don’t want to give an ultimatum coz it’s his family but I also don’t think I can go on in this relationship while I’ve been physically and mentally attacked by his parent for all these years

OP posts:
Flunkey · 30/05/2023 22:27

He should be on your side. You're right he needs to defend you in front of them and at least tell them he expects them to be civil at the very least.

Zarataralara · 31/05/2023 03:55

Why should she see your children and have a relationship with them if she’s that awful? My mother wasn’t physically violent but was mentally toxic and because of that I wouldn’t let my children be alone with her. I don’t think they met her more than 15 times in 20 years.
Your partner should be backing you, and if that means going nc with his mother so be it.

SuperSleepyBaby · 31/05/2023 03:58

Why did she physically attack you - and what exactly did that involve? it seems like such a big thing for them to brush under the carpet

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 31/05/2023 04:29

Why the hell SHOULDN'T you give him an ultimatum? FFS she ATTACKED you physically. She should not get to see your DC and your partner is an arse to allow his relationship with her go back to normal.

TheHandbag · 31/05/2023 04:37

Why didn't you report the attack to the police?

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