He’s decided he’s “had enough” and I’m pregnant

[Italktostraycats]

(Side note: I’m in the US, I just feel more comfortable posting here since people I know are less likely to come across it)

I’m just so frustrated and any advice or just listening to me complain is very much appreciated.

I’m 6 months pregnant, we already have an 8 year old(mildly autistic) and we’ve been married for over a decade and my hypha’s decided that he has had enough and wants more freedom.

He says it’s not fair that his coworkers get to travel and have bought new houses and he doesn’t get to. ITS HIS FIRST YEAR THERE, before he always had jobs that paid just enough to live off of and last year he started this very very well paying job and of course it’s taking us time to get established. We’ll travel next year when the baby can come with, we can buy a house in roughly two years. How is this bad? We finally have enough to really live!

I’m pregnant and I’m in pain some days and all he does is complain that I don’t do this or that fast enough. I’m trying!! I take care of our 8 year old 100% of the time(I even homeschool him, schools here are crap for special needs kids). All he does is yell at the poor kid when he’s trying to calm himself or express his needs.

And as the big fat nasty cherry on top he’s upset that I don’t want a three-some. Yes you read that right. While pregnant.

Sorry if this is incoherent. I’m just so upset.

😂

For some reason the thought of that always makes me think of a pig roasting on a spit

I'm sorry you're going though this OP.

Sounds like you've already checked out mentally/emotionally?

Time to get your ducks in a row, solicitor's, finances etc.

Completely agree with the pp who mentioned him being a twat so you leave him btw.

Show him this thread, then fuck him off for good.

All the best op

Do you want to leave? Or stay and see if it's fixable?

This is the US, he would be ordered to pay child support, alimony at least for the time you were in school, and child care needs.

You should let him go . You deserve better , your children deserve better . Do you have support ? Contact a lawyer to see your rights and go from there .

And as the big fat nasty cherry on top he’s upset that I don’t want a three-some.

Respond by saying that you've always fantasised about a threesome too, and mention the name of his most good-looking MALE friend as the candidate.

He is trying to give you the Ick, so you leave him

Yeah, but now he has money..

What fresh hell am I reading?

Omg, OP your husband is a vile, nasty pig!!!! I can't believe he would think it acceptable to suggest a 3 way while you're pregnant. A random from Tinder no less! That is absolutely shocking, and the poor wee diddums is upset you're not jumping at the idea? WTAF? Jesus wept.

I'm currently stuck in the US (from Scotland) so I may be able to help with some of the ins and outs of legalities here if you need any help. ExH and I divorced some years ago in the US so I may be able to offer some practicalities and legalities that are relevant here in the US. I also have a law degree, contract law is specialty however, statutes are statutes. Life here is VERY different to life in the UK in regards to access to services and help. The differences here are shockingly horrible/non-existent compared to other western countries.

You really deserve better for yourself and your children than this wank stain. Can you truly trust him from this point forward? Of course the health Insurance is a huge issue. I imagine that your 8yo special needs Son would at a minimum qualify for Medicaid if your absolute shit of a spouse somehow tries to duck out of healthcare. However, I can't think of a judge that wouldn't order him to carry health insurance for all of you until they reach age. Especially considering you're a SAHM currently. Do you have a decent health plan currently? Also your schooling costs. I don't know if you're doing State or Private Uni or a CC, but that really adds up as you know. If you two split, there would surely be a Pell grant or 2 that you'd qualify for. I don't know where in the US you are. I'm in southwest MI so on East Coast time if you need to talk. Message away if you want. And keep posting here. You'll get a lot of support.

I'm in the US (West Coast). Remember that laws vary from State to State so you'll need to get info relating to your specific state. Divorce in California may be very different from divorce in Texas or New York. Same goes for child custody and visitation laws. Things can even vary from county to county, but usually not by much. Just be aware that advice you may get here (including mine) may not be applicable to the jurisdiction you live in. Bottom line, get a good lawyer.

Alimony ('spousal support') is pretty rare where I live. The most I've heard for a 'work viable' spouse (ie not older or disabled) was court ordered 2 years to allow a SAHM to retrain and get into the workforce. But again, YMMV in the state you live in.

Her DH was court ordered to keep the DC on his insurance until age 18 (longer if in full time education), but hers was terminated effective with the final decree. Even if he'd wanted to continue it, which he didn't, his employer's plan didn't allow coverage for ex-spouses (she checked). I do know of one older woman whose exH was ordered to buy a 'comparable' private plan for his exW until she reached age 65 (Medicare), remarried, or got a comparable plan through job of her own.

Show him this thread

Please don't!! This is your safe space. It would just give him more ammunition.