Should I tell him?

[canitbesimple]

My partner & I have been going through a very rough patch and recently on and off. He called the relationship off and had been talking to someone else 2 days later. Fast forward a week and we decided we were done on Friday so I went out drank too much kissed my friend on Saturday probably as some sort of pay back (immature I know) but now I’ve spoke with my partner and we are going to try make amends and he’s trying really hard. Should I tell him about the kiss? I haven’t really done anything wrong as it was done and I didn’t expect us to try sort it again. Am I being selfish by feeling guilty and just going to tell him to make myself feel better. Truthfully I know he’ll be hurt to hear but I know he will let it go because it was over so really is there any need to cause hurt for nothing?

I don't know why you need to tell him. He called the relationship off. He was talking to someone else within minutes of leaving you. You don't owe him anything. However, you might want to really consider the relationship and whether it's a good idea for you to stay in it.

No, don’t tell him, what’s it going to achieve? Are you sure about getting back together? Why did you break up?

We have just been arguing over quite petty things that some how have ended up getting out of hand. I recently moved job and to a completely different town so we’re now 2 hours apart too so a lot of the arguments has been stress and tension related. I’d like to think that with work it may ease off the tension but think this thing I haven’t told him is the only thing holding myself back from that as the guilt is making me so down

Don't tell him

Don't have him back.

This won't be what you want to hear, but decades later, when you look back on this decision, you will either be glad you took this advice or wish you had heeded it

Which is it to be?

I would tell him but don’t feel guilty, he called the relationship off and was talking to someone else 2 days later. You’ve done nothing wrong.

I’d like to think that with work it may ease off the tension

In case an explanation is helpful,

You think the issue is the new job when actually , the new job is just showing you that he doesn't have your back in the way a good partner would.

A decent partner would understand when you have extra stress and tension and cut you some slack.

Sorry.

This relationship has run it's course. Don't waste another day trying to save something that can't be saved.

Thank you I do think this sadly may be true as much as I didn’t think it would be an issue and as much as he didn’t think it would be either. I am used to LDR with previous relationships but evidently he isn’t.

Personally I think if you love someone you don’t care where they live you make it work :/ I think I might just be in denial

No!

Though it probably won't work out anyway if yes acting like he had been, I'm sorry.

*he's acting like he has been

Is the distance going to be long term? I'd leave things here if so. Be friends if you still care about each other lots. Shaky ground and both having your heads turned quickly after a big row is not a recipe for a solid, long term LDR. I'd say better to.leave it now with grace than let things get messy and unpleasant.

Re the kiss as that's what you asked. Well, he ended things and started sniffing around someone else ASAP. I don't think you owe it to him unless it was seen by others and likely to get reported back/ blown up.

Yes sadly the distance is permanent until he moves with me. He was all for this idea long before I took the position however he is now debating this saying it’s too soon and wants to give me time to see if I enjoy the new job. I already made it clear I won’t be moving back even if this position isn’t the best I’ll find something else here.