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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Weekends away

3 replies

Barbiegirl123 · 29/05/2023 20:52

My partner and I have been together on/off for 5 years, on for the past 3 and now have a 6 month old baby.

We both love to travel and typically go away together 3-4 times per year. In the 5 years I’ve known him he has never had any weekends away with friends although does enjoy nights out which I am fine with. However, in the last 6 months he’s had 2 long weekend ‘lads’ trips and is also planning a trip with his siblings towards end of the year as a gift for his dads 60th. We are from different parts of the UK, so he will also be taking a long weekend trip back home alone on the weekend of his dads actual 60th birthday. For this one he is cutting short our already booked family holiday. I’m not happy about this but he gets defensive when I suggest that it’s not necessary since he will be taking his dad away anyway.

I’m not totally against trips apart but it just seems strange to me that he was never interested in this before we had our baby and now all of a sudden it will be 4 times this year which seems excessive to me. I could understand if it were stag dos or something but it’s just random trips. I do feel some sort of resentment that I’m left alone with the baby and the two times he’s gone away already he certainly hasn’t come home fresh and ready to help.

Just looking for some other experiences and whether there should be a limit on the amount of weekends away per year, how to approach this subject etc because he have totally different opinions on it and he said he would be fine if I did the same. (I did have a hen weekend for which his mother flew over to help him with the baby) Or am i being totally unreasonable by not wanting him to go away this often?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 29/05/2023 21:43

So he can’t even look after his own child for a weekend ?
On the one hand I think he’s entitled to do whatever he wants, and he’s said you can have the same, but on the other hand I think he is showing g what he thinks of you and his child. You don’t come first.

Ginger1982 · 29/05/2023 21:47

I wouldn't be happy with the cutting short of the family holiday, but it's only 4 weekends out of the whole year. As long as you get an equal chance to go away with your friends, I don't see the problem. As long as he's caring and attentive overall, he's allowed to still do things for himself, as are you.

Zanatdy · 29/05/2023 21:48

How has he taken to parenthood? Is he struggling? Sounds like it’s a good excuse to get away from having to parent his child for the weekend, and once he realised that he could do that, he’s booked more and more. Yes he should do what he wants, but it’s not very fair to you. I’d have a chat about it

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