Advice please!!

[Blondeleo84]

Could I ask your perspectives please? My husband has just been abroad (his home country) for the past 6 weeks. He was meant to only go for 2 weeks, however he kept extending his stay there due to several different excuses (mainly including to sort out some inheritance and doing something which we haven’t agreed on) which I understand needs to be done, however I was left alone with our 3 children and he knew I had my final assignments for university to complete. I begged him to come back as I needed support with the kids to be able to get these done, however despite explaining this over and over again I was left alone to do this which I managed to do despite many sleepless night. He arrived home at 2am this morning, and finally woke up at 10am and stated how he had to go to a hospital appointment with his friend. Of course this pissed me off because he had literally only just been home and couldn’t prioritise my uni work, yet could prioritise his friends appointment. It’s 8pm and he still isn’t home and I am livid - I just don’t think I can do this anymore, I’m sick of being at the bottom of the list and having to quite literally beg him to be a husband and father.

(just for further info he does travel to his home country regularly, he was there in February 23, November 22 and September 22). should I have been more understanding of this hospital appointment or is this out of order?

That’s a suspiciously large amount of time to spend out the country. How does he manage that with work. How come he doesn’t take you/the kids home to see his family?

I don’t blame you for being annoyed. He just opts out the parenting /the family for weeks at a time multiple times a year. It’s not fair or decent. It’s also downright suspicious.

That’s a long time to be away from your family. Surely he’d want to spend time with you all today. I would understand if the friend desperately needed help getting there and he mentioned to you beforehand but to me it would feel like he returned to see his friend rather than his family.

Sees childcare as solely your responsibility??

He definitely sees the childcare as solely my responsibility. He owns his own business so he can easily make it work to go as he leaves others in charge. We do go with him when we can but obviously are restricted to when we can go due to the kids schools. His friend needed help translating at the appointment today, hence why he apparently HAD to go today - but it never feels as though he has the same responsibility to me.
Also to mention we were supposed to be going as a family during this half term - but his parent (who absolutely manipulates him) was ill and he needed to go immediately according to the rest of the family, turned out that it was nothing to worry about but his family have form for this, but he continued to stay to sort out this inheritance without giving a shit about me and the kids.

This is a continuous argument, and today honestly feels like the icing on the cake, we are just never the priority. He’s now drinking with his friends - because I’m apparently horrible, because I had text him earlier telling him that I’d had enough when he wasn’t home by 8pm.