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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Confused

10 replies

Confused908 · 29/05/2023 19:47

My husband hit me a few months ago, I haven’t mentioned it to him since it happened but I can’t seem to get past the fact that he has hit me so violently, although he hasn’t hit me since. He says he loves me but how do you treat someone you love like that?? I am so confused..

OP posts:
bibbityboppityboo · 29/05/2023 19:49

Leave, it's domestic abuse and it's a slippery slope. If he's done it once he'll do it again.

StopStartStop · 29/05/2023 19:49

Leave him before he does it again.
Do you have children?
No-one is safe with that man around.

Original poster
Confused908 · 29/05/2023 19:54

Yes we have children he hasn’t been violent to them though. I should have left at the time and didn’t, I felt I had provoked him.

OP posts:
EverythingsCominUpMilhouse · 29/05/2023 20:01

Wasn't expecting to read this when I clicked on the thread - this is disturbing.

Please leave. This is messed up (to say the least) and it's happened once, it will happen again.

Pinkbonbon · 29/05/2023 20:10

No one does anything to deserve being hit by their husband.

Its abuse and he belongs in jail.

There's no excuse for it.
He's vile.

Get free before he starts hitting you infront if the children. Or, kills you and leaves the kids without a mother.

I'd seriously suggest reporting him to the police once you get out too. To help keep you safe.

TheShellBeach · 29/05/2023 20:10

Sorry this has happened.
You need to leave him. It'll get worse.

27penny · 30/05/2023 19:33

I suggest you find a therapist to talk to about it. I discussed this with one, it didnt happen me but it was more of an are u safe.. what would you do if.. she said most people think they will leave the first time it happens but they don't for a number of reasons. I think therapy would be beneficial to you to see how wrong this is and to help you navigate leaving for you and your children's safety

Zarataralara · 30/05/2023 20:18

Confused908 · 29/05/2023 19:54

Yes we have children he hasn’t been violent to them though. I should have left at the time and didn’t, I felt I had provoked him.

He wanted you to feel you’d provoked him more likely. It’s an excuse as old as time, look what you made me do.
You did nothing.
He chose to hit you.
He’ll do it again.

FinallyHere · 30/05/2023 21:08

I felt I had provoked him.

There is absolutely nothing you can do, which 'deserves' a violent reaction.

I'm very sorry, but this will only escalate. Get out as soon as you can

Good luck.

user1493847507 · 14/06/2023 20:17

How do you know if you have fell out of love with your OH? I have 4 kids, should I just ‘settle’ for this life for their sake?

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