Wedding anniversaries

[3isthemagicnumberrr]

It was mine this weekend. We have small dc. I bought a card and ordered something from a shop DH loves (and we often buy on special occasions). DH went out the night before and bought a card and some stroopwaffles. I like them but I feel a bit hurt about his total lack of caring….

What do you do for anniversaries?! Am I expecting too much?

We don’t do anything in particular … have never bought cards. At best we might say “Happy Anniversary” and I might look up some photos of the big day.
It’s how someone behaves the rest of the year that shows you how special (or not) their marriage is.

What do you do for anniversaries?!

Honestly, nothing really. Just go “Ooh, 16 years!” or something like that. Sounds like your DH marked the occasion. I know others are different, though - there was a thread the other day about someone who always books a trip abroad every year and was really upset when friends wanted to join. So there’s definitely a wide range of answers to your question.

Follow his lead?

Thank you. I think I’m being overly sensitive. Things are difficult right now…

Normally I wouldn’t be bothered about these things.

feel a bit hurt about his total lack of caring….

Whatever I feel about how to celebrate anniversaries I wanted in the nicest possible way, have you see that it's a bit of a jump from

'I put in a lot of time and effort to him something lovely, while he got me something trivial'

and

your interpretation that that his shows a total lack of caring.

Different people show love in different ways. It doesn't mean they don't care. How is he otherwise? How is the relationship overall? Is he lazy and uncaring, so this is the last straw? Or is he decent and loving just showing it in different ways?

My DH loves to make a big fuss of birthdays. I'd rather he just didn't leave dirty plates in the sink. Sigh. I know he is a good 'un, especially in a crisis so try not to make too much fuss.

We both get each other a card, usually thanking the other for putting up with us for another year 😂 I also tend to get DH either something small he needs for his hobby eg new rear bike light or a luxury version of a food he likes. He gets me something small that links to which anniversary it is eg a copper bangle for our 7th anniversary, although the 5th 'wood' anniversary was a little larger: a young olive tree 😬 We go out for dinner or have an extra special meal at home to mark it, although last year was our 10th anniversary, so we had a spa day.

Every couple is different in how they mark occasions, OP. There is no right or wrong. Was it different to how it has been marked in other years? We have a well-established norm, and I would be upset if it deviated from this.
I think if you're expecting more, you need to say this to your DH. They aren't mind readers, and will come with their own family traditions of what is 'normal' to them. You need to talk so you can find a compromise/meet each other's needs.

We didn’t really do anything for many years, a card at the most and I often forgot the date.
Now the DC are grown up we go on holiday and make a thing of it.
Big anniversaries are close to my DH’s big birthdays so that work out well.

Next year you know the standard