I just want to be made a big deal of sometimes!

[AllThatTwitters]

Anyone else got a DH is who reliable and nice and not a bastard but just doesn't really pull out all the stops? I finished a qualification I have been doing for four years the other day, worked my arse off, hoping to career change in my 40s, and it has all been a big deal in my life. But now it's finished he hasn't said we should celebrate or toasted me or said something like "well done, I'm proud of you" it's just business as usual. I just want him for once in his life to act like my life is a big deal. My family of origin weren't great with celebrating birthdays, graduations etc, everything was under the radar, and I wonder have I chosen someone familiar in that way...

Why don't you tell him? Tell that you are really proud and happy and that you would like to do something to celebrate. If you want him to arrange it then tell him. It would be nice if he thought to do it himself but he hasn't so why not give him a heads up about how you feel.

If you say nothing then he will think it's fine.

Yes I get exactly what you mean. I always secretly hoped ex DH would make a fuss, but it never happened. Unless I planned any celebrations (usually only dinners) it never happened.
I don’t know if it’s just a man thing or not, I think mine was just selfish so it never crossed his mind to do anything nice for me

Totally get this. It's about feeling cared for. No doubt lots of people will tell you to organise your own celebration, but that misses the point.
I get it OP.

Thanks guys. Yep, it's about being seen, I guess. Not even about having a big event, I would genuinely rather he just say "that was a big deal, well done" and clink cups of tea! I have done the 'arranging it myself' thing a few times, and it is definitely the practical approach to take but to me it feels empty.

That is very very shit to not even say "wow well done I'm so proud of you!" or something along those lines.
Does he ever compliment you OP? Say positive things?

@QueefQueen80s He would tell me I look nice, would be generally nice to me, buys flowers, remembers birthdays and Valentines, that kind of stuff. He was of practical support when I was studying - was my proofreader and took on more housework and that sort of thing. But he would just not think about it deeply enough to consider what a big deal it was for me to finish. The reality is that he doesn't have that intense interest in me, he doesn't hang on my every word or need to know a lot about me. God, it's funny when you start typing and this stuff comes out and you realise how much you are bottling up. 😨