How do you meet someone?

[destinedtobesingle]

I have been separated from my husband for almost 2 years.

I have had dates, FWB type arrangements but I just can't seem to meet anyone decent.

I've tried online dating, it was fun but nothing with potential.

I go out a lot, socially and professionally but my friends/colleagues say I'm too intimidating. I'm not in your face intimidating I think it's because I'm very grounded and confident but quiet, I take everything in, I think the intimidation comes from being quite hard to read.

I know I'm also picky, which doesn't help, I have a good job, own home and very ambitious so look for someone who can match that.

I met someone a few months back and I got sucked in pretty quickly which is so unlike me. however, he turned out to be a functioning alcoholic so I walked away. He was perfect in almost every way and no one's ever made me feel that way but having children, one with autism and challenging behaviour it's just not a road I was prepared to risk going down.

Being on my own has never really bothered me, maybe it's more because I felt quite strongly about this guy and had to walk away I just feel so lonely all of a sudden.

So where are all the decent men? Where do I need to go? I'm not against online dating; but what sites are best? Or shall I just give up and edit for him to come to me?

@destinedtobesingle most people meet online these days. Or at work. How old are you? Was this guy aware he was a functioning alcoholic but not willing to do anything about it?

I met DH on a training course.

Go back to online. It’s a numbers game. You sometimes gotta kiss a lot of frogs.

You could also try a paid intro agency if tog want a filter. About a million years ago a friend used drawing down the moon with success.

I used to see my husband out and about and very much fancied him. One day, I plucked up the courage and started speaking to him. 10 minutes later, I had his number 🙈

@Shapemyeyebrows he is aware he drinks too much and says he's aware it was borderline problematic but he was in denial about how bad it was. Said he can stop whenever he wants and was actively trying to cut down. He made a conscious effort not to order an alcoholic drink straight away if we went out but that just resulted in him being anxious, shaky and sweaty, he's too far gone just to stop but won't admit that and insisted on keep trying to go it himself; which wasn't getting anywhere. I'm actually heartbroken because he was brilliant in every way but just not something I'm prepared to have around my children.

I'm 34 so plenty of life left in me

What are the best dating sites these days?

@destinedtobesingle 2 women at work met a fireman and a paramedic on match but they are 50s. I know a few people who have also met their partners on bumble but I think the woman has to make the first move on there. You did right ending that relationship with the functioning alcoholic, it would have only got worse when you lived together, the good would have been eclipsed by the bad when you were around it 24/7.

Online dating. Try to see it as a way of just meeting new people and visiting new places. Have fun. Then see what happens....

I think the reality is that most of the good men have been taken. What you're left with is a debris of substandard and really substandard men on various OLD apps. Plenty of those around. Also, having been married and having your children, you have already achieved these milestones so trying to find someone to just be 'with', is difficult as most people aspire to achieve one or two or both of them. Sorry, it's pretty bleak out there. Yes a few get lucky but the vast majority of women are not.

You are 34 and still in your prime, keep online dating and socialising and you will meet someone.