To get married?

[Starfish125]

Hiya just wanting people's opinions/advice please and a little background history.
Me and my partner have been together 16 years (I was 17, he was 21 when we got together) we have two children and another one due soon. We also have a new house (last September) and are very happy. The idea of marriage has been mentioned many times over the years but due to mainly cost and it never being the right time we haven't bothered. Then unfortunately 3 years ago my dad passed away suddenly at 55yrs old, which broke my heart and my partner was also deeply affected as they worked together and got on very well which is something I am grateful for, but the fact that my dad is no longer here makes the idea of a wedding less desirable, yet we want to actually be married to call each other husband and wife and also for the legal aspects of it being much easier. My question is, would it be weird to just go and do it quietly with not many people knowing? Has anyone done here done this? And managed to not upset family and friends etc? We really don't want the big day and as cheap as possible if I'm honest. Does it sound strange to do this? Tia.

DH and I got a day off work and married with just two witnesses and a registrar. No guests, reception, photographer, flowers, cake or silly dress. It cost the princely sum of £13 and 50pence, for the licence in those days.
We did it to get the tax rebate (a whole year’s worth at the time). It was just as well we did, as DH died young and I would have been denied a widow’s pension if we’d been unmarried.

We just went off for the day to the registry office, nice lunch and had family and friends round after. Only my best mate was pissed off and she’s over it!!!

So sorry about your dad 💐

Loads of people do what you describe! It sounds lovely.

You don't need a big wedding. Do what you are comfortable with. If you choose not to marry, it worth looking at make sure your finances are in order in the event one of you dies (property, pensions etc)

No it isn't weird. I went to the registry office and did it with 2 witnesses. Lots of people do. I couldn't afford or be bothered with a great big wedding at the time.

It would be unreasonable to get married in a way that was only pleasing other people and not yourselves. You’re the ones who matter, it’s your marriage. Do it anyway you want! We eloped too and everyone was happy for us!

So sorry to read about your dad💐.

No, it would not be weird to go off and get married quietly if this is what you both want.

Those that mind do not matter and those that matter do not mind!.

We eloped to a different country to get married and didn't tell anyone beforehand. It was fantastic. So relaxing doing exactly what we wanted to do and spending the whole day just with each other rather than worrying about guests and whether everyone was having a good time. Our families were surprised but understanding. I did have a couple of friends who were a bit upset (I'd been their bridesmaid and I think they'd expected to mine) but they got over it. You just need to do what's right for you.

Just do it !! For all the sensible reasons especially with kids.

£235 mid week low key at most registry offices . Far cheaper than any number of financial agreements and solicitors costs !!

We were witnesses for friends who did the legal marriage in the office bit of the registry office in the county town, which puzzled us, as we all lived in another town which also had a registry office. Turned out the £50 ceremonies were only held in that one, and any ceremony in our local office would have been upward of £200!

Anyway. I'm sorry about your Dad. No it's pretty common for people to have very small quiet weddings through preference. I can think of five couples I know who did this, just off the top of my head. None of them have any regrets!!