Bitter ex even though he left

[Junenearlyhere]

Just musing on this as I had to contact my exh about something, rare these days now dcs are older. He's been nasty to me since he left (for OW) well over a decade ago, and seems extraordinarily bitter. It's bizarre because he's far better off than me financially, has a partner and I don't and has no obvious reason at all to 'hate' me. I'd much rather be civil, which you'd think by now after all this time.

I've managed to get my act together, had counselling, kind of forgiven him as much as I ever will, helped by the fact life has been more peaceful without him. It was very painful at the time and did shatter my trust and self worth. But I'm okay now, life is good, dcs doing well. So what's with the never ending bitterness and nastiness from my ex, anyone else had to deal with similar?

Great thread, thank you everyone

I've seen the opposite. SD left her DH. He, in the fullness of time, met and married someone else. SD has been consumed with bitterness ever since. Very odd.

Just catching up with this thread, thanks to all who've posted. There are loads of us in this boat! I hope it's brought others some comfort and solidarity, which it has done to me. Being in this situation long term it can wear you down I think at times.

I really think there is something to this.

Any man that did the dirt on his wife, that I knew, and both me and my husband came across a lot of them 20-30 years ago, there was always something about them that was just a bit off.

I didn't know quite what it was years ago, but they were often either deeply vain, selfish or dissatisfied....as the new partner rarely worked out.

My husband had a colleague thst was married with two children, he was slime, I knew it from the first time we met them at a dinner. She was really lovely, but he was pure slime.

Husband came back some time later that I was right as he was banging one of the secretary's....his words.....she wasn't very nice either.

Divorce was messy and ugly and he spoke so badly about her and screwed her in the divorce.

She had the last laugh as she was left a farm by a bachelor uncle with land that was being rezoned, and she is seriously well off now.
Couldn't happen to a nicer woman.
She also met someone lovely apparently.
I was so pleased when my husband came home with that news, and that his prick of a colleague was sucking lemons about it.😁
Karma. The money would have really killed him, he was full of guff.

For the last 20 years my brother has spouted vitriol about his ex wife, whom he left with his DD's to chase another woman halfway across the globe.

He remarried and his new wife treats him like a Prince. But the whole family is sick of his carping, and having to think up ways to change the subject when he starts. His DD's barely talk to/ see him due to the way he goes on about their mother.
This thread is very illuminating for me as it gives me a little insight into why he is like it.

Yup, another one here who has had to put up with the narrative that, despite XH doing his best to shag anything with an opening (I even found out long after we had parted that he had tried to hit on our joint friends' wives, it was me that was the bad person. His DM even put it about that he left because I was the one having the affair (and it was repeated back to my Dad).
They all deserve to be taken off to live on an otherwise deserted island on their own.
XH is with OW still and I now think they deserve each other.

um, he’s living off takeaway pizza because he can’t cook. Adults should be able to feed themselves.