Does this sound familiar? How does anyone else deal with this? When your OH refuses/avoids talking about the life admin/money other big decisions (let's leave the emotional stuff to one side - although I think both impact on each other).
Here's my latest example. Our house is on the market, we had a (low) offer last week and are now trying to offer on a house we want to buy. It's a big financial leap. But do-able. I spent hours this week on the phone to mortgage advisors, estate agents, getting paperwork together etc. I have a full-time job, largely WFH. Thursday morning, I get off phone from mortgage advisor, and then go to OH to say "right, this is what we can borrow, so I think we can offer £xxxxx on the house". OH responds "I don't want to talk about this right now"... (It's a beautiful sunny morning, he's got an hour free between his work and wants to 'chill')...Um, neither do I 'want' to talk about it... but we do 'need' to. This is a pattern. I feel that I take on all the emotional and stress burden of researching/finance, then have to try to 'find the moment' when he's happy to talk about it. This might be things like; 'booking holidays', 'working out son's plan for university open days', 'arranging viewings on our house'...He now says I'm always 'boxing him in a corner to talk about stuff.' I feel like I've become labelled as a nag.
My DH has anxiety issues and I suspect intermittent depression. He also had an impoverished childhood. We are in our 50s, been together 25 years. we have a teenage son and daughter. We've had a difficult few years financially but now things are on an even keel. I've got a secure, reasonably well-paid job and am the main breadwinner.