How often do people have contact with their EX for co parenting purposes

[Streaky1]

Just this really, how often would you say is "normal" on an average week to have contact with your EX for the purpose of co parenting?

There is no average! It all depends on the contact arrangements and the relationship between the adults. My son and his ex partner have an excellent relationship and they speak at least once a day, usually more, about their daughter. But then they also go on hold together and are very good friends still. I personally spoke to my ex when I absolutely had too as we had a very acrimonious split and for large periods of time he cut contact completely. You have to find a balance that suits you and your ex, and that's what will be right for you.

Ex and I aren’t acrimonious but also are not friends. We normally exchange one or two messages a week about pick up times or who has what days on the bank holiday or something.

I think it depends on the situation. Some days I will have to text or call my ex a few times to remind him of things. Eg he is picking dc up to take them to a club after school. He'll forget unless I remind him, and sometimes he won't read texts, so then I have to call. Other times we won't contact each other much at all. My ex has some MH issues and certain conditions that contribute to his absolutely shocking lack of communication and on top of that he seems to expect people to read his mind, and is incredibly forgetful, so I feel like I probably have to be in touch with him more than an average co-parenting situation.

I speak with my ex maybe once or twice a month. I communicate with the kid's stepdad often. I see home at the gates regularly.
There are no issues.

Every other day on average, or more if something needs mentioning. The other parent speak to our child every day mostly on a video call before bed, and me & the other parent usually speak every other day just to update on how behaviour has been / how a health condition has been/ how school has been etc

Never? We don’t really speak he occasionally messages the kids that’s it I never message him and don’t inform him about anything to do with them he messages the kids about once a month 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I guess context is everything, when mine were little myself an Ex were in touch a few times a week to organise arrangements/school things etc.but this ceased once they were older and got mobile phones.
I'm now with my current partner of 6 years, his DC 9, 14 and 16, periodically contact from his Ex has increased here and there as needed. Recently she has become single and I feel like she's over stepping the mark. Shes never off the phone! Last weekend at DC16 birthday she spent about an hour telling him all about her relationship problems, yesterday phoned him about an appointment DC16 has in July which really didn't require an extra phone call on a Saturday when she knows I'll be there.
All not helped by the fact we then went to his Mums house who accidentally called me her name. Then last night the kids ask if they can go and see Mum who's over the road at a friend's house, never heard of her having a friend over the road before, she's starting to grate!

Me - we usually have a chat at change over (50 50 share) and maybe odd text message if something comes up

My DP - constantly. She's always telling him about everything in her life, minor dramas, sending through old pics of the kids. He has cut down on how much he engages. They were sending lots of kisses to each other as well, out of habit on his side at least. I pointed out that a year into our relationship this was, making me uncomfortable. His response was to immediately stop, which she struggled with apparently 🙄 She wasn't the one to end the marriage but does have a partner. He's threatened before to use access to the kids as a bargaining chip so he does want to be nice to her, but boundaries are slowly being set.

Sorry, she's threatened!

I think the key here is not how the ex behaves, but how your DP does, especially if you highlight you are comfortable with it.

I cannot imagine a need to talk to your ex about a shared child every single day, never mind several times. No matter how friendly you might be.

My ex and I exchange messages as necessary about our DS. It’s rarely more than a couple of times a month. And sometimes not even once in a month. Stuff like passing on a school report card or arranging half term contact.

Every day.

My DH and his ex wife never, ever speak or communicate (in a genuine emergency I'd hope they would). She's very nice and communicates with me regularly, and we have coffee occasionally. But he talks to the (adult now, although it's always been this way) kids every day.

As little as possible, he did phone me when his last relationship ended, tried to get my sympathy but a basically told him to pull himself together for his kids (not all with me). Our interactions are fact based only sounds like your DP needs to put some boundaries in place.

Good point, he very rarely contacts her to be fair. Although did appear to stick up for her last week when she disclosed the circumstances around her recent relationship ending, he was controlling, which I do have sympathy with I know these kind of relationships can be very difficult to get out of. BUT alot of the issues she's created with the DC are not to do with her past relationship, she can't get out of bed to take the youngest to school, who's attendance has now dropped to below 84%, she told the youngest that she has autism when she was 8, she definitely doesn't, to me could be psychologically detrimental to the child, she says she has agoraphobia so on multiple occasions has let DC down as she can't take them somewhere she has promised but then seems to manage fine when it comes to her own social life, I could go on and on, alot of these things have continued since her relationship has ended.

Never. I blocked him He won’t/ can’t do a civil conversation so after 9 years I’m going n/c
luckily the kids are teenagers so they can contact him whenever they like

Speak every day, but we’re friends. Kids go between houses as they wish.

Most days to be honest we have a fairly fluid arrangement with the children. They are also at that age 8+ where they are doing activities/ stuff with friends which need lifts. For example if the weather is nice DS 11 will want me to pick him up from school so he can play football after school whilst Dd does activity. Weather is rubbish/ friends not around he’d rather get the school bus home so I’ll call and see if that’s possible.

Also and this is a hangover from our relationship he chooses not to remember the children’s schedule despite them having done ballet/ rugby/ swimming lessons / music lessons for years so I often get a post school call to ask what the kids are doing that day.

It used to really irritate me but now I can’t be bothered to give him headspace so I give him the facts and move on.

Kids are adults so one dd makes all own arrangements (has car) I still sometimes have to sort out other dd (it's complicated) but we message about the dog with photos regularly! We have a family group chat we all use and it works well. All amicable though. We share the dog about 2/3 him 1/3 me and meet up about half way.