Cheating

[Countrygi]

I could rung a hotline or I could get advice from my fellow women so here goes
Been with OH for 17 years
6 years ago he came to me. He confessed to an affair. He threatened suicide. He had been caught out so he told me before I was told.
I forgave him.
We got married - all has been well.
I’ve always known he loves sex and would love to push boundaries. Naively I thought that was all in his youth. We are in our 50’s now
The other night our child who is late teens caught him reading a message on Grindr
He denied but a day later confessed.
It was just fun! He’d never met anyone just had chats with “half a dozen” Yes images were sent
I do know the answer. I do know what I have to do but I am easily blindsided.
Until two days ago my life with him was perfect.
I am scared. Life pension poor
I know he loves me but I know I cannot be enough
i don’t want judgement please, I just wanted practical unbiased advice please.

You know what you need to do. But you're in a high powered job - how come you're looking at a future with no money? Has he been financially abusing you too?

And don't worry about 'never meeting another man'. There's more to life than being coupled up, although having been with him for so long, you haven't found this out yet. It's better to be happy alone than in a relationship constantly wondering what they're up to,

My first husband slept with anything with a pulse and beat me up regularly

Op, it sounds like you need counselling.

As to relationships going forward after you've had it; the mazing thing about the world is that there are thousands of other men in it. I know three women off the top of my head who met new partners in their 50s. Their partners do not appear to cheat on them, be gay/bi, or physically attack them.
Judging the entire population of men on these two specimens is not reasonable.

Back on this man; he beds to go on his way and live his life like he wants to.

He needs to stop manipulating and coercing you to stay and be subjected to his behaviour. He will not stop doing this; so you will have to stop it.

I suspect he'll set himself up a other beard/conventional partner asap but you know what he'll be doing behind the scenes. I just feel incredibly sorry for the next woman he'll do that too.

Practical stuff .... Solicitor, citizens advice etc.
Counselling. You're a smart lady, you don't need told what to do. You'll meet someone else sooner or later, and even if you weren't to; it's better to be happy and not living with this shit.