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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bumped into an ex

4 replies

beyourselfj90 · 27/05/2023 18:08

Okay, so I was on a work night out last night, we had a lovely meal and then went into the bar next door to the restaurant for a couple of drinks. I walk up to the bar and my ex is the bartender - I did not know he worked there. I have not seen him since we broke up at 18. I'm now in my 30s but I had a weird fluttery stomach and felt really drawn to him. I just very awkwardly said hello, got my drink and went to sit down, we didn't talk but I could feel him looking over a lot.
Is this normal to feel weird fluttery feelings? I am going out of my mind. I am not single, I love my partner. We have been together nearly 10 years, have a house together and I'm very happy. I just can't shake that feeling I had. Need to know if others have randomly felt this before and how you "checked" yourself to get real!! Haha. Help me!

OP posts:
Shivvy120 · 27/05/2023 18:19

Been there. I drive past my ex finance on the road sometimes on the way to work and it actually throws me for the day. We ended badly and he was an asshole but I will admit I still get that feeling… I like you am in a long term relationship now, married and have a house. I do love my husband but the way I see it is if we had true feelings for these people, do they ever really go away? Anyway I think it’s normal for you to feel that way me too x

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 27/05/2023 19:04

Totally normal. I had a short term ex who I was 100% over, saw him out on a date with another woman and I felt shaken up like a can of lemonade! I certainly didn't want him back (no bad blood, it just didn't work out) but couldn't help thinking about him for the rest of the night. It'll pass soon enough. Try and remember why he is an ex. That might help.

beyourselfj90 · 27/05/2023 22:08

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 27/05/2023 19:04

Totally normal. I had a short term ex who I was 100% over, saw him out on a date with another woman and I felt shaken up like a can of lemonade! I certainly didn't want him back (no bad blood, it just didn't work out) but couldn't help thinking about him for the rest of the night. It'll pass soon enough. Try and remember why he is an ex. That might help.

That's true! I was young and in love, he was my first boyfriend, first everything, he cheated, I was heartbroken but I moved on. I suppose I've never really had to face it until last night so maybe that's why it shook me so much! It just really surprised me how much of a strong reaction I had inside me haha!
Thank you for your perspective. It helps to know I'm not alone!

OP posts:
beyourselfj90 · 27/05/2023 22:09

Shivvy120 · 27/05/2023 18:19

Been there. I drive past my ex finance on the road sometimes on the way to work and it actually throws me for the day. We ended badly and he was an asshole but I will admit I still get that feeling… I like you am in a long term relationship now, married and have a house. I do love my husband but the way I see it is if we had true feelings for these people, do they ever really go away? Anyway I think it’s normal for you to feel that way me too x

It must be so hard! Especially when you're on the way to work and have to try and concentrate! I am still feeling funny now about it haha I'm hoping it goes away soon! Thank you for your perspective on things.

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