Men not showing interest or just the usual?

[Siatanaas]

If it takes hours for a new male friend to answer your messages. From a few hours to not answering overnight? Would most women consider that the guy is not interested or is it just a normal thing to do?

I dated someone (ex colleague) late last year for a few months and he used to drive me mad with his delayed responses and not even reading messages. We aren’t together anymore though he randomly sent me a text the other week (at 4am) and typically hasn’t even read the reply yet! I can’t deal with it as I’m someone who replies as soon as I see a message. I get not everyone is like that, and doesn’t always mean not interested but personally I’m not going to entertain someone again who can’t be bothered replying to my messages

Men aren't complicated ...

If they like you, you'll know it.
If they don't, you'll be confused.

Know your worth and move on x

It really does depend what kind of a job they have. There are many many jobs where looking at your phone at all can't happen.

Not answering overnight is definitely not became of work. More like having better things to do. Or other women to spend time with.

I don’t think it’s always other women. Looking at the male friends I have - the ones that don’t reply are big rugby drinkers, gamers and men that have to go to bed early as they have a physical job.

but romantically I’ve had men say, I can’t reply because if xyz so don’t worry, it’s not you. If they can’t acknowledge they are shit repliers then I can’t be bothered.

I don’t know why but I absolutely hate the pressure of being expected to reply to messages within a set time - even with my dearest friends. WhatsApp has made this even worse with the blue ticks and the “last seen on WhatsApp” surveillance. Maybe he’s like me and just has an aversion to it.

If he was interested you’d know it.

This ^

If he’s not msging you he obviously isn’t too bothered about talking to you. It hurts but that’s the clear answer. He surely has the time to send a quick text, what about a quick phonecall on way home/to work? I don’t think being ‘busy’ is enough of an excuse to not contact someone for an entire night. He just doesn’t want to.

Not answering overnight?

I mean, I’ll give it a wild guess. He could be asleep?

But nah. Probably with other women like you said.

Asleep from 9 to 9?

Is every conversation dragged out like that? If so then I'd bin him off? If you have regular enough back and forth and he sometimes takes longer to reply, I might let it slide.

How long have you been talking?

If you don't like it in general though, it's not likely to change, so bin if it'll irritate you.

Does it matter what the reason is, or whether it's normal or not?

His communication style doesn't mesh with your communication style, you're not compatible.

Why it matters is because if it’s just a normal thing then I’m the problem. I might like something or not but if it a standard there’s not much I can do about it.

We only had a few conversations

Well who knows? But your response of “More like having better things to do. Or other women to spend time with” just seems a bit bitter to me.

Things he could have been doing…….
watching tv
washing his hair
looking up prostitutes he has seen in the past
staring vacantly into space
talking to a relative who is dying
updating his Pinterest account
cleaning his bathroom
making soup for the freezer
rewriting his CV
calling that woman his friend set him up with

Does it matter? He will reply when he replies if he wants to, and then you will reply when you reply, if you want to.

But to have a bitter response, that’s not good. I have a relative like that and bitterness oozes out of her. It’s not good, please don’t fall down that hellhole.

It’s Saturday, do something nice for yourself and don’t wait for his response.