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Original poster

I fucked up a friendship

22 replies

Floos · 27/05/2023 00:59

Basically, I was a cow and said some rude things. She made some unkind comments, but I should not have retaliated.

She won't talk to me anymore and I don't blame her.

Just beating myself up about and preparing for a sleepless night Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 01:01

About IT

OP posts:
QueenSmartypants · 27/05/2023 01:08

:(

Would you like to talk about it?

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 27/05/2023 01:12

Once the dust settles, perhaps friendships can be retrieved? Maybe she just needs a little time. Don't stress too much for now but maybe make small, gradual steps to rebuild. Flowers

Chispazo · 27/05/2023 01:12

Awkward, but she was unkind to you first? So you had a reaction to that.

Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 01:15

QueenSmartypants · 27/05/2023 01:08

:(

Would you like to talk about it?

Thank you - it's my fault, really,

I bitched about her and she found out. She had upset me, but two wrongs don't make a right, as my Grannie used to say.

OP posts:
Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 01:15

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 27/05/2023 01:12

Once the dust settles, perhaps friendships can be retrieved? Maybe she just needs a little time. Don't stress too much for now but maybe make small, gradual steps to rebuild. Flowers

Thank you - hope the dust settles soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 01:16

Chispazo · 27/05/2023 01:12

Awkward, but she was unkind to you first? So you had a reaction to that.

We're both as bad as each other, unfortunately Blush

OP posts:
RunningUpThatMill · 27/05/2023 02:30

@Floos it's not at all awkward to fall out with friends or family, people that we love. We all have different beliefs, values and morals, and that is great. If you were in the wrong, apologies. If you weren't, don't. I think self-reflection is always the key to this.

RunningUpThatMill · 27/05/2023 02:31

*apologise

Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 04:23

RunningUpThatMill · 27/05/2023 02:30

@Floos it's not at all awkward to fall out with friends or family, people that we love. We all have different beliefs, values and morals, and that is great. If you were in the wrong, apologies. If you weren't, don't. I think self-reflection is always the key to this.

Good advice, thank you 😊

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 27/05/2023 04:57

I agree. You have accepted here that what you did was wrong and that is wonderful. The difficult bit is what you think she did wrong.

Ellie450 · 27/05/2023 05:10

If you needed to vent to someone about a situation where she upset you and she found out and was mad about you venting, I’m inclined to think that the person who parroted it back to her is the real problem.

Rainbowsandfairies · 27/05/2023 05:52

It can feel awkward to fall out with friends ( we all have different opinions, values, morals etc) I'm sure you'll make up in good time X

HadEnough2023 · 27/05/2023 06:09

Maybe it's a good thing to call it a day on the friendship. One of my "friends" bitched about me behind my back, I couldn't trust them again after that but if they annoy you enough to make you do that then is it really a friendship to begin with?
Are you just friends for the sake of it?

Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 09:12

Coyoacan · 27/05/2023 04:57

I agree. You have accepted here that what you did was wrong and that is wonderful. The difficult bit is what you think she did wrong.

Thanks so much Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 09:13

HadEnough2023 · 27/05/2023 06:09

Maybe it's a good thing to call it a day on the friendship. One of my "friends" bitched about me behind my back, I couldn't trust them again after that but if they annoy you enough to make you do that then is it really a friendship to begin with?
Are you just friends for the sake of it?

I guess we've not been close for a while.

OP posts:
Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 09:13

Ellie450 · 27/05/2023 05:10

If you needed to vent to someone about a situation where she upset you and she found out and was mad about you venting, I’m inclined to think that the person who parroted it back to her is the real problem.

Thanks 😊 Ellie.

OP posts:
Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 09:14

Rainbowsandfairies · 27/05/2023 05:52

It can feel awkward to fall out with friends ( we all have different opinions, values, morals etc) I'm sure you'll make up in good time X

Thanks Rainbow.

OP posts:
Nodinnernogift · 27/05/2023 09:32

If it's just happened you are feeling very raw and full of regret - especially if you said stuff to her when you were emotionally charged.

Losing your temper and saying mean things is wrong but was the 'bitching'? What did you say, was it warranted and how did she find out?

Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 10:44

Nodinnernogift · 27/05/2023 09:32

If it's just happened you are feeling very raw and full of regret - especially if you said stuff to her when you were emotionally charged.

Losing your temper and saying mean things is wrong but was the 'bitching'? What did you say, was it warranted and how did she find out?

Well, I was bitching about something she said that I thought was unkind and it got back to her...

OP posts:
Shivvy120 · 27/05/2023 10:50

If she’s a true friend - she will in time forgive you. The bigger lesson here is whoever told her what you said about is the one you need to be wary of going forward. Yes you shouldn’t have bitched but that person also shouldn’t have said anything as she knew it could get back to your friend and hurt her.
I’d say try to make up with her, give it a day or two to let the dust settle and then try and get her to see things from your side.
My best friend is someone who I’ve had over the last 20 years one big falling out with (she did something bad to me) and we eventually ended up being best friends again because our friendship was strong …. All the best x

Original poster
Floos · 27/05/2023 11:15

Shivvy120 · 27/05/2023 10:50

If she’s a true friend - she will in time forgive you. The bigger lesson here is whoever told her what you said about is the one you need to be wary of going forward. Yes you shouldn’t have bitched but that person also shouldn’t have said anything as she knew it could get back to your friend and hurt her.
I’d say try to make up with her, give it a day or two to let the dust settle and then try and get her to see things from your side.
My best friend is someone who I’ve had over the last 20 years one big falling out with (she did something bad to me) and we eventually ended up being best friends again because our friendship was strong …. All the best x

Thanks, Shivvy - I'm glad you patched it up with your friend.

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