Together 6 years with a child but no financial ties

[Motherduck9]

It’s a weird one. My partner and I have a child year old together and also another child each from previous relationships. He is from a wealthy family and has always worked really hard so we are fortunate enough to have a home without a mortgage. I also have a property which I rent out which was mine prior to meeting him. I couldn’t afford to contribute towards this new house and he didn’t need me to anyway. But legally it’s not mine at all. I feel like it’s my home and he never makes me feel otherwise but it’s his house.
We aren’t married (a whole other convo) but what conversations would you be having surrounding the house etc if we broke up or if he passed away (god forbid!)
He pays for everything re the house and doesn’t ask me to contribute to any bills or anything so I don’t want to sound ungrateful at all as here in the moment we have a great life and I also work hard and have a great balance. But if it all goes wrong where would that leave me? I don’t feel like I am entitled to anything to do with the house as it’s not mine, but then equally it’s my home and my children’s home.

But if it all goes wrong where would that leave me?

On your own and with no claim on him financially for yourself….although you would be able to make a claim on his estate on behalf of your joint child (if he hadn’t made provision). Not a great position for you and your other child to be in.

You both need to make wills asap. If he were to pass away the house would pass to his children, you would have no rights to any of his estate. A friend is going through similar and it is a total nightmare.

I would be looking to get a relationship agreement in place if you don't intend to marry so you know where you stand. Any family lawyer can help you with that,

Are you in the UK?

You would not be entitled to anything from the house if you split if you are not married unless you are on the deeds.

If he died I believe the DC would inherit the house unless he had a Will naming you as beneficiary of the house.

It’s time to get practical and protect yourself the best you can. If you are not paying any bills then focus on building up both your pension and your savings.

If you want sone security re the house then you need to have a chat. The easiest way would be marriage. You could also be added to the deeds and presumably then you would contribute. I get the impression he wants to keep the finances separate. If that’s the case then be aware he can ask you to leave at any time. Obviously that suits him but it does leave you in a stressful position. Would he acknowledge that??

If he’s paying all the expenses then surely you must be able to save a good chunk as a rainy day fund? Plus you have a property of your own…

I don't understand why you didn't put this information on your other thread.

Financially it makes no sense for him to marry you. He doesn't think it's worth his while to give you that security. That tells you a lot about how he values you.

He doesn't trust you fully. And he doesn't want to fully commit to you.

He already has children.

You think it's a deal breaker.
.

It leaves you having to move out your tenant and going back into your rented property.
Your joint child would have a claim on his estate along with his own child from previous relationship. He may already have a will in place?

Well, no, you don't have any legal recourse here. But as you're not paying towards the mortgage or bills, you should be saving a lot of money that you are investing elsewhere so that if this relationship breaks down, you have options. In effect, by him meeting all the bills he is facilitating you building assets and I hope you are doing that.

Separately, if he dies, he absolutely should have a will in place to protect you and all of his children and I'd be asking him to please prioritise that asap.

If you split up you wouldn't be entitled to anything except CMS as you aren't married.

If he died it would depend on which country you live in and his will. For instance, if in England and not in will even your joint child wouldn't be entitled to anything, and definitely not you.

Marriage ensures some protection. You don't have it.

Oh, so this is why he won’t marry you. Not sure why two threads.

As PP have said, you have no recourse to his house (which you freely admit you don’t contribute to at all, so why would you?)

Why wouldn't the joint child be entitled to anything if there was no will? Who would inherit otherwise?

I read it as unless the OP and her child are in his will, they won’t get anything bar CMS (which is the case)

You have your own property. You work. You are not having to pay bills. Save up and plan ahead. His property, hopefully, would be left to all his children.

He has clearly decided to have no financial ties and that is NOT going to change. So you need to work from that basis and work towards financial security for yourself.

You run a business from home. What are you doing with the income from this? Because you should be pouring it into savings and pension, given it is not going in to running his house.

Could your business be more profitable? Are you taking it seriously, or regarding it as 'pin money'? It's possible, because he is paying all living costs now, that you have not applied yourself to it enough. Give yourself a shake and increase your efforts - should you split, your business will be your living.

You own a property that you rent out. Does the rent merely meet the mortgage, or is it also income? Again, savings/pension all income.

Keep it in mind that you could require to end the tenancy and move back in there.

To be honest, you are in a better financial position than may women in similar situations.

Stop letting this situation drift, giving over control of your future to the whims of a man unwilling to commit to you. Take charge of your life and future. Work towards financial independence and security.

And ask yourself why you allowed yourself to get into this position. I'm not judging you OP, but you need to answer that question (to yourself, not me or Mumsnet) and use that information to protect your future.

Boyfriends and girlfriends have zero legal protections, obviously those are gained by marriage. Citizens Advice website has a page listing the extensive differences between married and just cohabiting couples, it's all info you should already know.
Your rich boyfriend housing you and paying your living costs must have allowed you to build up huge savings along with your landlord income, which is great. If he died/dumped you you have your own house to go to. Also great.
Why are there two threads about this?

Why is marriage a whole other thing? I haven’t seen your other thread.

Well obviously he’s not going to marry you, but he’s also paying all of the bills which means you should be able to save a pretty huge amount of money each month to fall back on, plus you own your own property. I think you’re actually in a fairly good position.

Why doesn’t he want to marry ?
Do you work full time ? If so how much can you save a year or maybe invest in starting a property profolio?

…probably because he’s already had a divorce and is rich, so would gain nothing by marriage?