misogynist

[tramon1969]

Do you think it is possible for a misogynist to recover? If so what steps would you take to get them help? I have been with my boyfriend for about 18 months and I recently figured out that even though he would never say anything outright misogynistic, he also never compliments me or does anything to ease my insecurities. He doesnt talk down to me, but he does things that he knows will make me feel bad about myself. He is very obscure with it. We also never "make love" - he is fantastic in bed but there just isnt any emotion involved. Im just not sure how to handle this and im hoping someone who has maybe been in a similar situation can guide me. Im also open if you think misogyny isnt the problem. Thank you

I don’t really understand your post. A misogynist isn’t defined as somebody that fails to compliment or ease somebody else’s insecurities.

It sounds like he's not meeting your needs and expectations. Maybe it's time for the relationship to end?

What makes him a misogynist exactly?

You mentioned sex, is he violent and degrading during that or something?
If yes, just dump him now.

This. Misogyny is defined as a hatred/aggression towards women and so I would assume from that, he is making unpleasant comments about you due to your gender? if so, what does he say?

Misogyny isnt about not giving people compliments

He doesn't sound like a misogynist - just a crap boyfriend.

I don’t really understand your post. A misogynist isn’t defined as somebody that fails to compliment or ease somebody else’s insecurities.

This. What actually makes you think he'd a misogynist?

A misogynist is someone who regards women as intrinsically less than men. It's not clear from your OP whether this man is one or not. However he clearly isn't a nice person, and no you cannot change someone into becoming significantly different. Finish it asap he is not good for you and it is not going to go well for you if you stick with him.

If I'm understanding you right, your partner of 18 months never compliments you despite knowing it would reassure you. He also undermines you in roundabout ways. Sex with him is technically good, but unemotional.

If this is more or less the picture, he may well be a misogynist but that isn't your problem. Your problem is that you're with somebody who either doesn't like you very much or is controlling you (or both, of course). He certainly doesn't seem to respect you as a person.

It's concerning that your question is how to cure him. You can't. Do you understand that this relationship will harm you? Is this all you feel you deserve?

I agree with PP, not misogynist. Just the two of you are mismatched.

is he a misogynist or does he simply not love you and fulfil your emotional needs?

@GarlicGrace has it 100%. It's 18 months. This is not a relationship that is making you happy or feeling good about yourself so end it before it becomes too difficult to do so.

You're basically asking us how you can change him.

You can't.

Cut your losses and move on. He sounds shit.