Meeting people isn’t something I “do” I have always had problems making and sustaining friendships as I am autistic so for various reasons related to that I haven’t been able to meet many people. So when I do I don’t want to let them go so easily. By chance I met someone over lockdown online. He claimed he wanted a monogamous relationship, we were going to move in together late last year, he kept pushing it forward, each month that would roll around he would say it would be the next.For various reasons I had the feeling he was seeing someone. I never got proof, and I have never got him to admit it, but it upset me that he was pouring time and resources into another relationship whilst we had very little ourselves.For about a year I tried to fix myself or fix the relationship I even suggested counselling which he would refuse as he believed in talking and sorting it out between ourselves but also never made the changes we would speak about. I then broke up with him and said we could get back together on the proviso that he changed his ways and I started using online dating sites, so he’d make the changes for a week or 2 and then he’d go back to his usual ways so I broke up again, except that time didn’t get back with him and followed through with inviting people over from the dating sites, so he has been giving me the silent treatment for over a month but has been reading my messages, I know the relationship is dead in the water and there was nothing I could’ve done, but it’s been a whirlwind and I don’t know why I put myself through all that