Happy with minimal sex?

[Abbbcdf]

26, DH is 32. We have an 18mo and I am pregnant with DC2 just found out. So we do have sex.

Since we had our DS it did take a massive drop (obviously) we’ve had random months here and there where we couldn’t get enough of eachother. But currently since returning to work and DH trains a lot (he’s an athlete) on top of parenting we’re both shattered!

When I calculated when I got pregnant it was our weekend away, aka more sleep and relax time haha!

But we’re both fine with this. I always ask is he happy with it and he said he is as we’ve been together a good few years then married on top of this. We have good sex , probably about once every other week. Or some months 1-2 times a week

I used to want more but my sex drive has dropped a lot since becoming a mum

are you like this in your couple? Lower sex drives ?

Sounds perfectly normal in your situation. You're still having sex frequently enough that you keep that sexual bond... It's if you start going for more than a month without sex that I'd start to be concerned as then it's harder to reconnect sexually, and what should be natural starts to become awkward and things can deteriorate from there.

@guineacup completelt see what you mean when it’s a month + without

we have had a few odd months off since having our son and after I notice how long it’s been We make sure even if we have to plan it in we get things started again

If your both happy then then there is no issue

First of all I’m jealous you have sex with an athlete!! Secondly it’s absolutely fine, I think the best thing is you are communicating and staying close. It’s when you stop doing anything about it. That’s when it becomes an issue.

It doesn't matter how often you have sex as long as you're in sync and both happy about it :)

We have waaaaay less sex than that. I’m 7 months pregnant and we’ve only had sec twice since conceiving

I think it's normal in your circumstances. Looking after young children and babies is tiring. Just keep communication open as you don't want to get to the stage where one of you begins to resent the other. And I'd try to keep the physical intimacy going, if not the sex for a while.

Abbbcdf, that sounds pretty much like me and my wife. I suppose I'd like it a tiny bit more, but honestly at age with three kids I'm just grateful that we're still flirtatious and 'active' with each other.

I'd rather have it every other week (sometimes more, occasionally less) where both parties are enthusiastic than feel she was doing it out of some kind of duty to the relationship.

We both work fulltime, our kids are 4, 8 & 13, and the 13 year old has severe ADHD so essentially requires the attention of much younger child while still having the emotional turmoil of her age group. We're knackered. The bedtime routine takes three hours often. So all in all I think once every two weeks is pretty impressive.

However... we never knew a 'before kids' phase. The eldest two are my stepchildren so we've never experienced the child-free life together. We've been together long enough for the honeymoon phase to have long disappeared - sometimes I wonder if that works to our advantage? Not remembering a time it was 'easy' and we could just go for it whenever? I know the transition is difficult for many couple so maybe starting the game on Hard Mode was best for us...

Sounds perfectly normal. I remember when our kids were small we were both utterly knackered most of the time due to interrupted nights, lack of sleep and the sheer amount of attention small children demand.