Husband paid for sex update

[mmeigh]

I recently started a thread and talked about how I found out my husband paid for sex once when he was 17 with an older woman who he was giving money to for her to spend. I enquired and from the times he was actually 18 years old does this change anything or is this worrying behaviour. The woman was in her 30s he was 18 and he said "she said she would reward him if he was gave her money to spend" he said he did it once regretted it should I be concerned or enquire more

My son is 17, if a 30 year old woman was having sex with him she would most definitely be a predator.

@Buddercud regardless of he gave her money to get her to?

Jesus wept. You need to let this go. It was over 10 years ago, before you were together. How many times are you going to ask and get the same answers and not listen?

I don't mean to sound harsh. But you need to address what exactly is bothering you? What do you hope to achieve from raking it up continuously?

It sounds like they used each other and both were aware of the arrangement. It does sound a bit creepy on both parts but certainly not worth ending a marriage over. Are you having doubts elsewhere and looking for an excuse to leave?

This! 👍🏻

I'm usually very very critical of men using sex workers/paying women for sex etc.

But in this case, it seems like he was desperate to lose his virginity and she wanted some cash for something or a "gift" or whatever and saw an opportunity to ask for something as part of the deal of having sex ... which it sounds like she was going to have with him anyway.

I don't think anyone got taken advantage of, or if they were, it was probably a little bit him.

Be was very unexperienced and a slightly odd situation cropped up due to her proposal/deal and he took it, probably while on the verge of having sex and horny.

He's not done anything similar since (?) I would be inclined to let it go.

He's also been honest which he didn't have to be

Maybe she's quite exploitative. Maybe she had a fetish of being paid for sex that she wanted to fulfil, maybe she's a bit shameless..... I wouldn't say he did anything hugely wrong by agreeing to it. Most young men possibly would - unless pride stood in their way. But that's unlikely. Hot older woman ready to have sex, throws in a demand/deal/request that's not very expensive or undoable; most would probably do it.

I've actually just remembered that my partner has sex with a woman for money once when very young lol. He'd gone back with her & friends to a hotel or apartment; and she really wanted to have sex because it was her birthday (!) etc. And I don't think he was all that bothered. She propositioned him with money to do it, and I think the novelty and flattery (he was a well above average looks young man so it was likely she wanted him in particular, rather than just an "any dick will do" situation) appealed to him, so he did (to the best of my memory). Random situations like that crop up sometimes and when people are very young and their judgement is not set set and they're "open minded", they're inclined to go with them.

(And drunk as is often the case).

OP you say regardless he gave her money to this.

She is still a predator. She saw a young horny teenager and took advantage to get money from him. You really are overthinking this.

The only issue here is that you won't let this go. Let it fucking go already. You're being ridiculous, honestly.

Yes I find it unpleasant that you're so obsessed with this. Quite frankly it's none of your business. If a man was obsessing about something his wife did sexually with another man when she was 18 everyone would see it as very possessive and unhealthy. We'd probably advise his wife to LTB.

Please try and move on OP. This is obsessional overthinking and all it’s doing is poisoning you and your relationship with this man.

It’s normal for tennagers to make poor decisions.

You either have OCD or you don’t.

Either way, let it go, or let him go.