FIL putting pressure on us to move back home

[helpus]

I need some advice!!! This morning i got a phone call from my FIL who told me that he was giving my h and i an ultimatum to move back home (we are antipidean) or else he is cutting us out of his will. He told me not to tell my h as he was going to call him and put pressure on him to commit to a date.
I of course called my h told him everything, when he got home FIL called him and he agreed to move back home but now this evening my h has started being really horrible about my parents and it really hurt me. His parents have money and my parents are just a middle of the range family. My parents have always send him birthday and christmas pressies and everything but he says they do nothing for us. Yet his parents have only ever bought us tickets home and never sent us birthday or christmas cards. I cant believe he has turned like this he has never said these things before and now we not talking at all.
What must i do, clearly money is starting to mean more to my h than love and happiness.

Are you nt intending to go back ? or not just yet?? Is FIL demanding you move back NOW or just at some time ?? (Just???! ) will they 'decide' where you must live ? will they decide how you bring up the dc's ???

what lengths is your dh prepared to go to for the money ???

personally I would tell FIL to F**k off !!

helpus- it sounds like our dh is projecting his anger onto you/your parents, When really he should be directing it at his own parents or more specifically his father.
He may not even realise he is doing this. Could you talk to him calmly about it get him to open up aout his father's behaviour? His dad is obviously a very controlling man.

agree with smithfield. he's feeling bullied, is angry, and taking it out on you, the person he's closest to. give him a couple of days, try not to take it too personally, and then talk again. maybe he's ashamed of his father acting this way and wants to make it a level playing field. not ok of course, but we all do things we're not proud of.

Agree with others - give your DH a couple of days. His father sounds like quite a mean man and knows which buttons to push with your DH. At the moment your FIL has won the first round as he's caused you two to fight. Don't let him control you both.

Your DH continues to be bullied by his FIL from the other side of the world. This is emotional blackmail at its worse. It's also toxic behaviour shown by the FIL to his son and certainly knows how to push his son's buttons.
This is all about power and control; this toxic man still wants to exert power and control over you all. The money is just a side issue.

Would certainly agree with all the counsel offered so far.

What does your FIL expect of you both if you move back to Australia?. He will still exert much influence.

I hope I am just reading it wrong as well but has your DH actually agreed already to FIL's demand? (first sentence second para).

What might he demand next? If you comply with this not only will he be nearer but he will always have an element of control! Your poor husband to have such a father