Selfish ex…..

[Lollypop6]

My ex is driving me crazy. Emotional affair and manipulative traits when we were together. We split a few months ago. He has now met someone new. He is terrible with money and is staying with a friend. So can’t have the kids there. He is going on lovely dates spending money that should be going towards somewhere to live so he can have his kids. Today I went to the bank we still have a joint account that I don’t use. I printed all the statements and asked him if he needed me to highlight where his money is going. Is it just me wanting to be free but ex still holds you back??!

While I agree that he is selfish and his prioritised are messed up, you're the one who went and looked through his finance. If you want to be free the get yourself off of that account and stop trying to make him a better person and a parent - you will fail and get frustrated in the process

He's your ex, take your name off the account.

Also, I'd drop my kids round there anyway. Because his pal will soon tell him to pull his finger out his arse and get his own place if children start showing up.

Kids can sleep on sofas and floors if need be. They'll be fine. If you want the night off, just drop them round there and let him handle it. They're his kids.

He's not your child. He can spend how he likes. Don't baby him. He steps up or he doesn't .

Ps: assuming you have your own place without his name on it. Wouldn't be great if his pal chucked him out and the bastard tried to crawl home.

If not, sell up and get your own place ASAP.
Take no chances.

Also, I'd drop my kids round there anyway. Because his pal will soon tell him to pull his finger out his arse and get his own place if children start showing up.

Kids can sleep on sofas and floors if need be. They'll be fine. If you want the night off, just drop them round there and let him handle it. They're his kids.

This 1000 times. The fact he can't take the kids to his mates is his to solve. He could get a AirBnB, beg favours from friends and family or sleep on the floor and give them his bed. The reason he is not doing any of this is because he doesn't need to because you are picking up the slack.

Today I went to the bank we still have a joint account that I don’t use. I printed all the statements and asked him if he needed me to highlight where his money is going.

That is a ridiculous level of involvement in your ex's personal life. Close the account or take his name off it.

Sadly you can’t force them and what he spends his money on is none of your business. Fwiw my ex has a 3 bed house pays no maintenance and never has the kids overnight, there is no way to force them and what he spends his money on is his own business

The reason I went to the bank was to take my name off the account but was so annoyed with him I printed the statements. I wasn’t actually going to highlight them to be clear. I felt verbal communication was t working! Your all right though no more parenting him….