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Original poster

Should I text this guy?

23 replies

MiracleMoist · 23/05/2023 20:26

I met a friend of a friend on a night out a few weeks ago and we slept together (which wasn’t that amazing but we were both drunk). We swapped numbers and went for breakfast with mutual friends the next day and he seemed nice/into me. We didn’t really mention meeting up again but texted a couple of times in the week after. Then he never replied to me. I normally live 2 hours away from him, but am going to be staying in a town 20 mins away from him for some of the summer. Im not sure if he’s aware of this. I’d quite like to see him again casually, but don’t want to chase him. Should I text him to let him know I’ll be near if he wants to meet up, or take the hint that he didn’t reply to me and move on?

OP posts:
DatingDinosaur · 23/05/2023 20:32

I would text him. But just be aware that he could see it as a booty call given the previous circumstances and dwindling comms afterwards.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 23/05/2023 20:37

Yeah text if open for something casual

Original poster
MiracleMoist · 23/05/2023 20:44

The only thing is, he definitely knows I visit his area a lot and didn’t ask when I’m next going to be there so I get the impression he’s not interested. But a booty call is all I’m really after too-something long term wouldn’t work (but I was quite upset when he didn’t reply before).

OP posts:
Saucemonkey · 23/05/2023 20:46

Text him, can’t hurt. He doesn’t have to reply.

pictoosh · 23/05/2023 20:47

No imvo don't text. He wasn't bothered to chase you up then...don't go offering yourself on a plate in the hope he'll pick up interest.
He had his chance.

Opentooffers · 23/05/2023 20:53

No harm in letting him know you'll be in the area so can meet up if he likes, then if not, no prob - keep it light and breezy. Either he will be up for it, or he won't.

Seas164 · 23/05/2023 20:55

I wouldn't.

He didn't text you back, therefore isn't interested in a repeat. He hasn't lost your number, he could ask mutual friends.

A one sided booty call is going to do nothing for your self esteem, there's no shortage of casual sex, don't deliver yourself to him on a plate and let him turn his nose up if it hurt the first time.

jenny38 · 23/05/2023 21:10

Nope, do not text him. He hasn’t replied to you, he’s already shown he’s not interested. You don’t really want to be intimate with someone who can’t show basic respect and manners.

Original poster
MiracleMoist · 23/05/2023 21:16

Also there was no question in my last text for him to reply to, I just said I hope he feels better (he said he was ill) and said briefly what I was up to. But guess he could have continued the conversation if he wanted to.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 23/05/2023 21:17

but I was quite upset when he didn’t reply before

Tread carefully on your own feelings, OP

holliebo · 23/05/2023 21:20

I think the fact you were upset that he's not be in touch and not overly keen is a warning sign.

If you were happy with a casual booty call you probably wouldn't be as upset or over analysing it so much.

If you're feeling like that already you could end up catching feelings when it's only supposed to be causal

pictoosh · 23/05/2023 21:21

Yes...you gave him an in and he didn't take it. If he was anywhere near as keen as I'd be looking for him to be, he would have picked up the ball and run with it.

It's no reflection on you, you understand.

Original poster
MiracleMoist · 23/05/2023 21:25

holliebo · 23/05/2023 21:20

I think the fact you were upset that he's not be in touch and not overly keen is a warning sign.

If you were happy with a casual booty call you probably wouldn't be as upset or over analysing it so much.

If you're feeling like that already you could end up catching feelings when it's only supposed to be causal

That’s what I’m worried about, I was upset when I didn’t hear from him and don’t want to catch feelings. But on the other hand, on the night we met/the day after i wasn’t fussed at all about seeing him again and he’s not the kind of guy I’d ever date. And there’s really nothing else to do in that town I’m gonna be bored and on my own there for work so kinda think why not

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 23/05/2023 21:25

Christ no. Don’t text him. He’s not interested

Honeyroar · 23/05/2023 21:33

Why do you think you were upset? You keep saying you’d not want him as a boyfriend and it’s just a booty call, but why are you feeling hurt then? I’m not sure that you’re being honest with yourself. You know the same thing will probably happen this time too… will you be upset?

CadburyDream · 23/05/2023 21:34

god no I wouldn’t it never fails to amaze me how desperate some MN posters are (not you op but the ones always telling the op to text someone who clearly isn’t interested)

Nobsandnockers · 23/05/2023 21:35

No, do not chase him. You want a FWB, find a hot man whose sex you will remember, no matter how drunk you are.

C1N1C · 23/05/2023 21:36

No, you've been ghosted.

DatingDinosaur · 23/05/2023 22:12

Nah, OP. Reading your updates, you already caught feelings so don’t try to kid yourself you’d be okay with a booty call. You wouldn’t. You’d end up feeling hurt, upset, rejected when he ghosted you for a second time. Is it really worth it for a bit of mediocre, and probably drunk, sex?

It’s interesting that you wasn’t fussed about seeing him again initially, not your type, etc. … what changed your mind?

Original poster
MiracleMoist · 23/05/2023 22:54

DatingDinosaur · 23/05/2023 22:12

Nah, OP. Reading your updates, you already caught feelings so don’t try to kid yourself you’d be okay with a booty call. You wouldn’t. You’d end up feeling hurt, upset, rejected when he ghosted you for a second time. Is it really worth it for a bit of mediocre, and probably drunk, sex?

It’s interesting that you wasn’t fussed about seeing him again initially, not your type, etc. … what changed your mind?

It’s probably not a great idea. I was quite surprised he texted at all and looked at his social media and think I built up an idea of him in my head that was better than he actually was. I was a bit upset when he didn’t reply, but only for a few days then haven’t thought of him much for a couple of weeks-only when I was planning my accommodation in his area. So I think I wouldn’t be absolutely crushed if he ignored my text. But it’s probably better to just leave it as a one night thing than look desperate. I’d logistically only be able to see him a couple of times anyway.

OP posts:
yousexybugger · 24/05/2023 16:06

I'd leave it. If you genuinely weren't bothered that would be one thing but it stung before when he let things fizzle so don't put yourself in that position again.

Magnoliainbloom · 24/05/2023 21:27

No. You are coming across as desperate. He’s clearly not into you. Let this one go.

Tim2983 · 24/05/2023 23:54

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