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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Really unhappy

6 replies

Unhappyme · 23/05/2023 19:28

I’ve changed my username but I am a fairly regular poster.

I am sat in my garden, glass of wine in hand, wondering where things went wrong? I’ll no doubt drop feed as feeling a bit tipsy hence why im posting but I just feel so unhappy with my lot.

got with my current partner 14 months ago, single for years and years and really happy on my own. Feel like I was almost railroaded into this relationship. I’d known him a lot of years as a family friend, he was married. His wife cheated and they split. He asked me out and I accepted. Happy for a few months until I realised he was still in touch with someone who I believe was the ‘love of his life’, the ‘one who got away’. She however moved thousands of miles away. I stupidly snooped on his phone when I saw a message pop up from her. He’d told me she was an ex long time friend who’d suddenly stopped messaging him when he told her about me. I hadn’t realised they were still in touch. The messages I read since we had been dating were quite tame, but lots of reminiscing and her telling him how much she loved him. Fast forward and now because of my snooping I see he is close to a colleague. She messaged like she is really keen, he responds quite innocently. He is off at the min and she tells him she misses him etc. he hadn’t responded. He is going thru a horrible divorce, my DS has left home, he has two dependents, I don’t need it. They are no trouble but I’ve done my time. He snaps at me a lot! Most days I have a secret cry, I wish for my old life with my DS.

I’ve brought nothing but love and commitment to the relationship he has brought all the hassles of a divorce, custody battle, it’s wearing me down.

OP posts:
Velvetbee · 23/05/2023 19:33

Just end it, it’s not working for you. How is the property shared/owned? Would it be easy to extricate yourself?

Unhappyme · 23/05/2023 19:34

@Velvetbee thank you

I do actually love him. He moved in with me, I rent.

OP posts:
Teatotalnot · 23/07/2023 06:54

Rail roaded? He is married?? Strange how the angles change. You really should have stayed living alone. You rent your own walls so easy really isn't it. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and sort it out. The blame game is easy, makes us feel worthy of attention. Have another glass of wine and wallow in your tears, going through someone's phone is like reading a private journal really, does he go through your things??

You will both be happier apart!

FedUpMumof10YO · 23/07/2023 07:01

Love isn't enough.

Morewineplease10 · 23/07/2023 07:11

Get him to move out and take a step back. It's moved way too fast too soon.

And love really isn't enough. Why is he not shutting the colleague down?

ZekeZeke · 23/07/2023 07:16

Is he divorced?

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