Online dating guilt

[Gjk39]

I met my boyfriend on a dating app. I had never had a dating app before having been in a long term relationship that had not long ended.
My now boyfriend was one of the first people I matched with and his profile defo stood out to me.
On the advice of a couple of friends, I was talking to different people. I was very surprised by the number of matches/ messages I got and found it all a bit overwhelming. I ended up talking to quite a few guys, most of them were just a couple of nothingy messages before one of us stopped talking but there were a few that I had longer conversations with and discussed going on dates. My friends advised me to set up a few dates to help me work out what I was looking for and prevent me getting too attached to someone straight away (something I am quite prone to doing). I went on one date with a guy and decided not to see him again and then went on my first date with my now boyfriend.
After our first date, I did exchange a few nothingy messages with a few other guys but nothing anywhere near setting up dates. As the dates progressed with my boyfriend, I stopped using the app and deleted it altogether after our 4th date (at this point we had kissed and were talking every day but hadn’t slept together).
The conversation of online dating came up with my boyfriend and his mates the other day and he said he hadn’t been talking to anyone other than me. All his mates said they only ever matched with one girl at a time and wouldn’t dream of talking to multiple people.
I admitted to my boyfriend that I had been and I had assumed he was too. He took this really well and said he wasn’t surprised I got loads of messages and asked what made him stand out. But I’ve felt so guilty ever since. I know I haven’t technically done anything wrong and I genuinely thought that’s how everyone used dating apps but it does feel as though I’ve done something wrong. I also think he was quite hurt by it, even though he took it well and told me I hadn’t done anything wrong!
Is this a normal way to use dating apps or have I been awful?!

You've got nothing at all to feel guilty about. What you've done is what most people do.....in fact many actually date multiple people and you've not done that.

You've also been honest and he doesn't seem bothered so def nothing to worry about.

Fwiw I find it unusual for a guy not to be at least chatting to multiple matches.....assuming he finds it easy enough to get matches. I doubt both him and all his friends have this same approach tbh

My dp also only messaged one person at a time, or stopped other chats if he was more interested in a particular person. His brain just doesn't operate in a multi dating scenario. I dont think its unusual for men or women to not have the brain space for multiple threads. I had more chats and in fact a date lined up after mine and dps first date (I cancelled) but it took a couple of weeks to wind chats down after meeting dp. Dont feel guilty, its completely the normal for a lot of people. Your bf understood. You did nothing wrong.

I met my bf on a dating app. I'd been messaging quite a lot of blokes as it was my first real go at online dating and I wanted to get an idea of what I really wanted. The week I went on my first date with my bf I literally had a date every night that week. After my 1st few dates with bf there was only one or two other people I still wanted to message. But by the time we'd hit dat 6/7 I knew I didn't want to talk to anyone else so I closed my account.
I have told him all this and he said he wasn't surprised by the amount of attention I'd got. He was messaging a few people but I was the only one who held his interest long enough for him to go on a date with.
I wouldn't feel remotely guilty if I were you.

It’s completely fine as long as you weren’t talking to/seeing anyone else once you guys made your relationship official

Thanks. I just found the whole thing very weird to be honest!

I bet you the guys only talking to one at a time because they're not matching with many!
It would be stupid to constrain yourself to chatting to one person as you are just starting to get to know them on OLD given that the likelihood of any particular match ending in a relationship is pretty slim.

Its fine!

And his friends are such liars!

This is nothing against the op as it appears shes done nothing wrong, but the idea that its seemingly fine to be going on dates with one guy whilst having 5 other dates lined up is just mind boggling to me. Someone mentioned 6 or 7 dates and still going on other dates, I'd be seriously miffed if a guy I'd invested time in and had been on numerous dates was concurrently going on dates with other women!

Im so glad im off OLD and met someone in real life and dont have to deal with all this messing around and people spinning plates with 5 other people whilst youre thinking youve made a connection. I dont want to be a backup plan or side option amd find that attitude a bit ick.

Here's a crazy idea, maybe try one at a time and after a few dates if its not working then go looking again. Dont treat people like a side option and rather treat them like youd like to be treated. If im putting effort in and hit it off with someone i dont want to then be fitted into his diary after he's gone on another two dates with two other women until he decides who he likes best like hes sampling paint. Id say see ya!

O P, the way you went about dating is perfectly fine and the way that most people approach it these days. Your boyfriends mates were almost certainly lying to wind you up.