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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I can't be the only one

1 reply

spinglyspangly · 22/05/2023 23:11

I'm in my early 30s with one primary age DC. I work full time. I have DC most of the time, they are with dad EOW.

I love my life, now that I have found my stride with all of the changes the past few years. My family are so supportive and I have a couple of close groups of friends that I don't see more than once every few months but honestly we are all fine with that as we all have busy lives and families. I am happy in my own company and have some hobbies that I enjoy that aren't social. I think to the outside I can come across as quite confident especially at work, but really I am a bit of an introvert so I really do enjoy that down time.

I do just feel flat sometimes. I am in a strange limbo of feeling like I would quite like a relationship again and I have tried putting myself "out there", but the apps are simply awful. I have been on and off them for years, been on loads of dates, but I never seem to be interested enough to date for more than a few weeks. It also feels like my age bracket are generally getting married and starting their families so it's an odd age to be dating, as ridiculous as that sounds.

I always see the advice of finding a new hobby - I could only do it EOW anyway, but I always feel that I need that time to get my life back on track as dull as that sounds. Seeing family/friends/doing DIY, either that or I am needing a break as my job is quite stressful at times and I am tired ha!

I do feel a bit stuck in this respect. I am otherwise so content and make the most of my time off with DC, but sometimes the little voice in my head says "it would be nice to share the time to yourself with someone", and today is just one of those days I suppose.

No point really, just a little rant. How do you all find the time!?

OP posts:
Goatbilly · 23/05/2023 15:29

Most women are motivated by (ultimately) marriage and children so they pursue relationships, sometimes at a great cost (varying degrees of comprises along the way). Once you've had a child and quite like your life as it is (have good support networks of family and friends), there's no real drive to pursue a romantic relationship (and trade off the very good bits in order to get the cuddles/sex/ good morning texts/dinners and the cinema). No real advice but it sounds like you're not "settling" and are not willing to do so for any bloke who will go ona date with you!

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