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Relationships

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Original poster

Is it too much too soon

4 replies

Jellybelly34 · 22/05/2023 12:51

I've reconnected with someone I knew 15 years ago. We could never have had a serious relationship as at the time I wanted children and he could not have them.We both went on to marry other people.
Fast forward to now I am separated as is he and we have reconnected and have been seeing each other. The only stumbling point is that I relocated 300 miles away from where we originally met.
He has said he will move sooner rather than later to be nearer me and we will live separately and see how it goes.
On one hand this is the only way we will be able to make it work longer term as I have a young child so cannot spend every weekend travelling around.On the other I'm worried it's a little soon even though we have a long shared history and friendship.
What are people's opinions?

OP posts:

GoodChat · 22/05/2023 12:53

Presumably you haven't known him for 15 years.

If he wants to relocate that's up to him but he needs to do it for himself, not in the hope that a relationship will work.

It puts a lot of pressure on you to make this work.

bibbityboppityboo · 22/05/2023 12:56

He's willing to move 300 miles just to see if the relationship has legs?

Tbh I'd be more worried you have a young DC and the pressures you might feel if he's relocated close to you to involve him too much in their life too young. What if you want a weekend just you and DC? Will he be okay with that?

Does he have any friends / work / support near you? If he doesn't he might end up relying on you for 100% of that which is a lot.

CalistoNoSolo · 22/05/2023 12:58

Way too soon, especially with a young child in the mix. What happens if once he moves he pressures you into seeing him more often than you want or if he expects you to be responsible for his social life?

Original poster

Jellybelly34 · 22/05/2023 13:00

He has a job where he can transfer , he won't be meeting DC for at least another year . She won't need to meet him as she spends some time with her dad.
He plays sports so will join teams etc and knows people in the company who work here.
I don't have time for him to rely on me and I have expressed that if he moved it's on him as I'm not forcing it.
I can see the negative and positive to it but yes I am worried that it will all be a bit too much

OP posts:

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