I'm a sahm of 11 years, trying to get a life of my own now our youngest is in school. I've been away for the weekend, volunteering, and it's tied up with work as I've recently started getting paid a few hours a week by this charity. I came home yesterday afternoon after 2 nights away and DH had looked after the kids for nearly 48 hrs. So I'm grateful for that. But I also see it as part of the give and take - he was away this week for the same amount of time, coincidentally, with work. So to cut to the chase, I came home to find: blood on my bedding from my youngest having a nosebleed, general mess all over the house, no dinner prepared, a food shop needed there-and-then as no milk, and we've also got members of his side of the family staying for a few weeks. I dealt with it all. Tbf he was also busy - his mum is v unwell, so he sees her a lot and went there soon after I got back. So then her illness makes me feel guilty for being annoyed at him. But the whole situation makes me feel a bit lonely, like he doesn't care enough to think that I'll find it stressful to walk back into all that. It puts me off going away, and if he knew me well enough or cared enough, I feel he'd know that about me and he'd be showing me that the house can function without me and it's ok for me to start getting out more. All of this comes in the context of me having done all the domestic side for years as I'm at home, but then in the last two years I've spoken to him a lot about being bored with the domestic load and wanting more support from him. So we have spoken. I'm also more generally dissatisfied with our relationship - primarily not feeling listened to, which is why this has upset me. I get so upset at the thought of breaking up our family but I also feel trapped and he doesn't do enough to show that he understands.