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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gaslighting

18 replies

wtfwtfwtfWTF3 · 21/05/2023 23:50

Please can someone tell me how you feel when you're gaslit?
I feel like this is what's happening to me but I'm not sure. I end up just feeling confused, upset and frustrated. Like I can't make sense of what I did wrong or when the argument escalated.maybe I'm too sensitive.
Thanks x

OP posts:
Itsanotherhreatday · 21/05/2023 23:52

I end up just feeling confused, upset and frustrated. Like I can't make sense of what I did wrong or when the argument escalated.maybeI'm too sensitive.

the very definition of gaslit

Itsanotherhreatday · 21/05/2023 23:55

Example - he does something, let’s say stole your ring and sold it for cash, this is your fault because … you didn’t send him £10 for fags, or you left it lying around and he thought you didn’t want it, or you could’ve brought fags in the way home and you forgot (he don’t actually ask yo) or his grandmothers great aunts dog died and he needed cheering up … or what ever /

Seriously leave you will be miserable forever

And stop making excuses for him and stop lying for him.

suburbophobe · 21/05/2023 23:58

maybe I'm too sensitive.

No. You're not "too sensitive".

It's your intuition/gut telling you something is not right. Believe it!

wtfwtfwtfWTF3 · 22/05/2023 00:03

It's not simple where I can see he's done something definitely wrong though like stealing from me.
For example. Yesterday. I'm unwell,
I have covid (i test for work and I've been quite unwell).
He wanted to go for a walk to the shop. I said several times I'm probably not up for a long walk but let's go to the corner shop.
He says no it will do you good. You will feel better etc.
We get walking and I start feeling very very unwell. I say I can't walk that many miles. Then he is angry at me because apparently I should be more assertive. And apparently I didn't say I couldn't go for a long walk even though I did say I didn't want to.
It all gets argumentative as I'm trying to say I did say I wasn't up for it. But he then just a shuts me down saying I'm carrying it on and I'm being too sensitive.

OP posts:
wtfwtfwtfWTF3 · 22/05/2023 00:08

Or says something that is mildly offensive, and I didn't realise it was a joke. So I take offence. Then he gets annoyed because i didn't realise it was a joke and what is wrong with me?

OP posts:
EmG88 · 22/05/2023 01:02

That’s still gaslighting sorry to say,
it’s happening with me I’m sure (I know) we are at the stage of me telling him I know when it happen. He’s tried to throw it back at me that I am doing it to him.

basically, you know what happened you remember it clearly that you did say that. But let’s say you didn’t say it. What does he gain from being angry about it? He’s knows your ill. So even with that in mind, why wasn’t he ok with an answer of I can’t walk that far knowing your ill. This sort of thinking is what helps me pick out the gaslight for me

Aquamarine1029 · 22/05/2023 01:05

Op, I would very gently shake you if I could.

You are 100% being gaslit. This man is fucking horrible. Please, please get rid of him. He is an abusive twat. FFS, who on earth tries to make an unwell person do more than they are capable of?

Groutyonehereagain · 22/05/2023 01:10

You can call it what you like @wtfwtfwtfWTF3 , what it sounds like to me is you’re with someone who is awful to you. Anyone who claims you are too sensitive is in fact blaming you for their bad behaviour. My ex would say I was too sensitive. I saw the light and showed him the door. You are worth more than what this twat has to offer. Run for the hills.

wtfwtfwtfWTF3 · 22/05/2023 01:14

I just dont want to believe it though as he can be so lovely, He's going through stress at work.
I probably do carry things on as I answer back and get frustrated and I try to explain myself and my reasoning.
I feel like I'm honestly going mad. He's the only person I ever have conflict with. I feel like I can't do anything right.

OP posts:
CheekyHobson · 22/05/2023 07:20

I just dont want to believe it though as he can be so lovely, He's going through stress at work.

Sorry, love, what you're doing is called 'justifying' and 'rationalising'. Making excuses and trying to think up reasons that might make his behaviour make some kind of loose sense.

You've hit the nail on the head when you say you 'don't want to believe it'. There's a part of you that knows it makes sense that he's gaslighting you; a part of you that knows you're not really over-sensitive or unreasonable, but it feels like horrible and mean to think that someone you love or care about or have trusted is actually gaslighting you.

It's hard to accept that actually maybe he doesn't really care much for you at all and is disregarding your feelings and then telling you that you're wrong for just wanting basic consideration and respect. It can feel easier to come up with excuses or reasons why you're wrong or 'just not getting it'.

I would like to warn you that you can do this for a long time and you will get sadder and more confused and more resentful, possibly to the point of becoming unwell. Eventually you will get angry enough to leave and he will act like an absolute victim, or he will dump you brutally one day and tell you it's your fault because you're impossible to live with.

You can't make sense of where you're going wrong, because you're not.

You've started the right way. If you feel confused, write down the confusing situation, line by line. Question yourself. Did you forget anything? If you remember another detail, add that. When you feel sure that you've been as honest as you possibly can with yourself, look at what you've written.

Don't second-guess yourself. Decide what YOU think seems right and fair. Focus on your own feelings. TRUST YOURSELF. Validate your own feelings - tell yourself, 'Yes, what I am feeling is fair and reasonable' - don't give that power to him. You are responsible for your own feelings, not him. You answer to yourself, not to him.

If you think he's gaslighting you, if you think that the way you're seeing it makes sense and you can't understand where he's coming from (unless you try on the perspective that he doesn't really care about you and is only thinking of himself... and then what he's saying does make sense), then you are right to refuse to accept the behaviour as okay.

You have to start to value your OWN judgements about yourself more than his judgements about you.

Surely you don't like being with someone who treats what you're saying as irrelevant or wrong, berates you into going for a walk that you don't really want to go on and have clearly said so, and who then refuses to believe you when you say you're feeling unwell and tells you that you didn't make it clear that you didn't want to go?

(As an aside: surely a grown man can go for a walk by himself if he wants one, and doesn't need his sick partner to come with?)

If he can't listen to you when you speak, I'm sorry to say it but he really doesn't care about you. That's not a poor reflection on you, as much as it might feel like it. It's a reflection of his incapacity to care. It really wouldn't be any different if you were smarter or tougher or prettier or whatever. Some of the most beautiful and smart and tough women in the world have been treated badly by their partners. How you treat people is on you. How he treats people is on him, and he isn't treating you well.

wtfwtfwtfWTF3 · 22/05/2023 11:36

Thank you so much for your reply. I have a lot to consider and make sense of I guess. X

OP posts:
OliveToboogie · 22/05/2023 11:36

Sorry he is a controlling arse. If I was ill with Covid my partner would not be dragging me on mile walks but tucking me up in bed, getting me what I needed. That's love, the other is contempt. Sorry

AntoniaMacaronia · 22/05/2023 11:44

I feel like I can't do anything right.

And you never will with this 'man'. His sole aim is to have you feeling the way you already do, but worse. All of his behaviour is abusive, even the good times, which are used partly to confuse you and to stop you from ending it.

I strongly recommend you contact Women's Aid for support in the hope that you can garner enough strength to end the relationship. His behaviour will escalate. Do not tell him you know he is abusing you. He may sense a change in you just having learnt what you have today, try and act as normal as you can. You need to keep yourself safe.

yellowsmileyface · 22/05/2023 11:50

I just dont want to believe it though as he can be so lovely

I always say there's no one more lovely/thoughtful/kind/considerate/affectionate than an abusive man when he's being nice. They have to be so lovely enough of the time so you don't realise they're abusive. That's part of what makes it so confusing. How can someone who's so sweet and thoughtful sometimes be so cruel and inconsiderate at other times? It makes more sense to believe you're the problem, that he actually is this sweet and lovely guy, and the times he isn't is just you being too sensitive.

I probably do carry things on as I answer back

You're allowed to answer back. He's not your parent. He's conditioning you to be passive and submissive.

I feel like I'm honestly going mad. He's the only person I ever have conflict with. I feel like I can't do anything right.

This is exactly what gaslighting feels like. It literally does drive you insane. You can't ever do anything right because they constantly change the rules and move the goalposts so you're constantly messing up, and then blaming yourself.

There is no reasoning with such a man. They don't want fairness, they don't want to see your point of view, they want their way and they want control. The only way to deal with such a person is to leave.

peachicecream · 22/05/2023 12:06

So he wanted to do a thing (go for a long walk).

You said no, I can't go for a long walk, I'm not well.

He didn't listen, insisted you can and persuaded you that you should.

You went for a long walk and struggled (as you knew you would).

He got angry at you for not being assertive and telling him no? So it's YOUR fault?

OP, this is ridiculous on his part. He shouldn't have dragged you out for a long walk when you clearly said you weren't well enough. He made you feel bad for asserting your needs so you gave in and went for the walk, you then couldn't cope (as you knew you wouldn't) and he made you feel bad again.

Don't get hung up on the word 'gaslighting' and what it is or isn't, just look at his behaviour. That is shitty behaviour, he completely dismissed your needs and then made you feel worse by saying it was your fault. Get rid!

billy1966 · 22/05/2023 12:17

OP,

Please wake up

You sound very confused, vulnerable and in denial about the really nasty man you are with.

He's a really controlling awful person, who will only get worse.

He certainly doesn't care about you.

Ring Women's aid and get rid asap.

Be careful.

He sounds very off.

Pinkbonbon · 22/05/2023 12:28

wtfwtfwtfWTF3 · 22/05/2023 00:08

Or says something that is mildly offensive, and I didn't realise it was a joke. So I take offence. Then he gets annoyed because i didn't realise it was a joke and what is wrong with me?

What does it matter if it was a joke or not?
How does that stop it being offensive?

I could go 'I hate women'. And then when you get upset, go 'joking'. Umm no...that's not a joke. It's a deliberate attack to rile you up and then call you oversensitive by claiming you didn't understand he was joking.

Even if it was 'a joke' it's clearly deliberately aimed at hurting or offending you. Why would it be OK for a partner to do that?

Anyway, I'm just explaining it for you but DONT try explain it to him. He KNOWS what he is doing.
He knows. Pretending not to understand why you are upset is part of the gaslighting op.

And he's not doing it out of stress. He's doing it because he is a bastard. A bastard with some sort of horrible personality disorder like npd. Normal neuroticism people don't go around gaslighting their partners to the point of driving them nuts. Evil people do.

Get yourself away from this guy. Before you lose your sanity. Before you lose yourself.

Pinkbonbon · 22/05/2023 12:29

*normal neurotypical people

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