Contraception killing drive

[IcarusFlies]

Not sure whether this goes in this topic, really, but it is affecting my relationship!

Has anyone found a good solution for a situation in which oral contraceptives kill libido, alternative methods are for various reasons not acceptable, and pregnancy not desired? I can’t see a way out of it - and I can list the specifics if necessary.

If I come off my pill, we can’t keep our hands off each other - the second there’s even a sniff of it again, it can be literally months and the planets have to align etc before we get around to anything sexual.

Have you tried different brands of your pill? I had this when I moved to a progesterone only pill, and went back to the nurse who tried me on a different brand which was much better (sadly, the first resulted in no periods, not so much the second.... But I decided libido was more important!). Apparently different brands have different levels of hormones so can affect you differently.

Copper coil doesn't contain hormones. Have you tried different types of pill? Maybe the progesterone only ?

Yes, tried multiple options for both COCP and POP. Coils / IUDs are non starters. It’s all rather frustrating 😑

I am the same. The pill killed my sex drive. We use comdoms and have been for months now. I can’t find anything else. I used different brands and types of pills they all seemed to do the same to my SD.

I am very similar - pill totally killed my sex drive. Tried different pills. Coil/IUD not for me

We use condoms. Not ideal, not as easy/spontaneous as being on the pill in some ways but… at least I feel like myself !

I assume condoms are not on your list?

Oral contraceptives raised SHBG which then affects your testosterone levels.

The pill killed my sex drive and ability to orgasm.

I didn't take it for long for that reason and it took a long time to come back fully.

It makes me wonder how many relationships are ruined by hormonal contraception.

What’s SHBG?

We hadn’t realised how much better it is without the pill…. I’m actually keen rather than going through the motions and losing interest halfway through.

Condoms or the snip (eventually!) are in my list but DH feels differently. Which is annoying but ultimately out of my control, although I’m clear on my stance ie he IBU!

Would you consider the Diaphragm? It’s a bit messy and it has only a 95% per year reliability. But more spontaneous than condoms and no hormones.

I looked into it, but I understand it’s almost impossible to get a fitting appointment and the “one sits fits all” private brand… the name escapes me now but you buy online… is only 80% reliable (from memory) which felt low??

Goodness - yes the NHS these days. I used one for a bit over 20 years ago when things were different. I wouldn’t accept 80% either. Can you get on a waiting list? Try a sexual health clinic instead of your GP?

The pill did exactly the same to me. I tried different ones but overtime they all eventually did the same. I couldn’t find anything, for me, that worked so just used condoms.

Exactly the same here. No sex drive on the pill, plus almost constant thrush. The coil better but still squashed my sex drive.

Came off all contraception to try for children and just haven't been able to face going back on them. We're using condoms now and I feel like myself again. They work well for us, 5 years and no accidents, but eventually I'd like my husband to have a vasectomy (when he's ready!)

The difference is like night and day. It’s crazy.

Then frankly your DH is a plonker! Why wouldn't he want regular, enthusiastic sex with a condom versus hardly any with someone 'going through the motions & losing interest half way through'

We've used condoms for years, would never go back on hormone contraception again because it killed my sex drive too

Tell me about it. I have pointed this out to him…

I wonder how many relationships are negatively affected by this too. I was on the pill throughout my 20s, had a very dull sex life with two long term partners. Came off it age 30 in order to conceive and discovered I could actually experience spontaneous desire and that I didn't really fancy my husband! I remember putting it altogether after reading some book about fertility awareness. So many women must experience this.

Now ex DH I'm glad to say! I found the Mirena fine as I still ovulated.

Exactly!

I also found my taste in men changed significantly, personality and looks wise.

I'm currently OLD and vowed I'm not taking hormones at all as I don't want it to cloud my natural judgement.

Yes, me too, post pill I fancy much more traditionally masculine men.

It really irks me because ithe lack of awareness of this side effect demonstrates the double standard towards women's sexuality. Researchers and clinicians are fully aware of it but don't care because women on the pill are still sexually receptive to men. And for young women avoiding pregnancy is seen as so important their enjoyment of sex is utterly ignored.