Regular poster but name changed for this. OH was away for two days visiting a sick relative. We were worried about them but they are on the mend now.
So he's been gone since Friday morning. For context we have two kids: 13 and 12 and a dog.
H arrived back about an hour ago and we were all having lunch. I asked DS1 to go and try on some new clothes I bought him and he was procrastinating and refusing. They were delivered 7 days ago and he won't try them on and I want to return them if they don't fit. DS1 was moaning he was tired and I said well I'm tired too. Out of nowhere OH said well what are you tired for you've been doing nothing all weekend.
I was gobsmacked. Actually the house he left on Friday was filthy and I spent all weekend deep cleaning downstairs because he spends the whole time causing chaos and cluttering up the place. Its so much easier to keep tidier when he's not around.
I'll admit I lost it and told him where to go. I also mentioned that I deep cleaned the bathroom upstairs and he has left dirty trousers there for the past week and also all his contact lens stuff scattered all around. The kids just drop their clothes on the floor too but why would they bother when he does it also. I haven't mentioned the bathroom all week as I'd usually just tidy it myself.
Now OH is telling me I'm being irrational by mentioning the bathroom and trying to get DS1 to try on the new clothes. I'm so upset and angry but am I being irrational.
For context OH has ADHD and is very messy and chaotic but has a perception of himself that he is tidy. He isn't. I'm messy myself but I own it and try so hard to keep things organised as I hate chaos.