Surviving being left for someone else

[Elektra1]

Seven weeks ago I was happily married to a woman (same sex relationship) I loved very much. We have a young child too.

Six weeks ago she said she "needed space" as hadn't been happy for a while. Two days later she announced that we were separated and two days after that started a relationship with a woman she'd known one week. OW also married (also same sex), with 2 young kids.

They moved out immediately, have moved in together and started divorce proceedings on both sides. To say that I've been blindsided would be an understatement. I move between states of hurt, anger, depression, misery and shock. The life and woman I loved have gone. Everything is so awful every day. Worst of all is their callous indifference to the pain they've caused. DW is having stuff she's buying for their new flat delivered to our marital home for her to pick up when she visits to see our child.

I can't imagine ever having a romantic feeling for anyone ever again and can't understand how these two can just move on so quickly from years with their respective wives, into a completely unknown relationship.

Tell me this gets better please. It's all so bleak.

I know it doesn’t feel like it now but it absolutely will get better with time. Just take things one day at a time. Try to get through each day, try and look after yourself and your health as best you can and just hang in there. Try and spend time with people who care about you and support you.

so sorry this is happening to you.

I feel completely lost. I no longer know whether DW was the person I thought she was (who could never have acted like this) or if I didn't really know her at all. She transformed overnight from loving wife to this cold, detached zombie version of herself who just wants the divorce and sale of our home completed as quickly as possible, like it's a business transaction.

Her family have all accepted the new relationship as well and more or less cut me off, which really hurts as I thought we were close.

I know you don’t want to hear this but clearly this isn’t a brand new relationship. Oyler’s obviously been going on far far longer than you know.

this means that, for your partner, this isn’t new or shocking. They’ve had the luxury of time to get used to the idea, leaving you with the terrible shock, as well as the heartache to deal with.

im so sorry. It’s just the worst feeling. I know you don’t believe me but it will get better. It will take time but it will.

That is exactly what I would say to someone in this situation too, but I know for a fact that it started when it started because we literally did not know this couple before we went on holiday to the same place at the same time.

Oh @Elektra1 you know that probably wasn’t a coincidence either don’t you? People don’t move on with someone they’ve only known a week.

It will get better but unfortunately it takes time and it’s a case of getting through the now. You are grieving for the loss of your marriage. I’ve no great advice just to say take each day as it comes, or each hour or minute. I’m sorry you are going through this. You are worth more than this. Delivering parcels to your address is pretty thoughtless.

It's the unpleasantness of it all that is so overwhelming. If I'd left my spouse and knew they didn't want the marriage to end, I would at least show some empathy and compassion for the position of the ditched partner. But STBX is behaving in the most cold and callous manner possible. It's like she enjoys rubbing salt into the wound.

It's so hard to focus on work, or anything apart from this. It's all-consuming. Meanwhile she's off at the gym every day, out for cocktails, buying stuff for their new flat (they are both very high earners), and basically loving life.

I'm not coping very well.

I'm so sorry this happened to you
My boyfriend left me out of the blue for someone else 6 months ago and it's effected me terribly.
He also just turned cold and is living his best life. I am still struggling now.
It all just feels so unfair.
Not trying to compare myself as you were married with a child but I understand that feeling of being blindsided and not knowing if you ever really knew them.
I don't have much advise for you except I just try and get through day by day and hope the pain goes away one day.
I honestly don't understand how people can be so cruel