How to become a social butterfly?

[Hotchocolateandlogfires]

I don’t really have any real friends. Like life long can always rely on friends. No one really bothers with my birthdays (except dh parents and sister)
i have a big birthday coming up next year and want a big party but just don’t know if anyone would come.
i go along to some (not every due to child care) parties and girls weekend abroad for their hens and partys but as I just feel on the side, like im
not in the actual group. My sister is in the group, right in the middle of every group, she’s massively socially and seems to get time for walks, coffee and meet ups all the time. I work full time so just don’t seem to have the time. I just feel so on the outside
the ladies I do meet up with are a few different groups, so I end up with about 2/3 weekends away a year but different people. All of who I’m not sure if they would come to my party. I’m really worried about arranging a big thing and no body comes but again, it’s something I would love.

I think it sounds like you have a nice little social situation you have friends and weekends away and you get invited to things so please don’t be so hard on yourself. I actually think you are doing quite well. I’d write a list of who I think I would want at my party and what I wanted my party to look like. If you’re not a natural social butterfly would you actually like the attention of a big party? Maybe a smaller but more personal party would work really well

Your friend situation sounds fairly 'normal'. You have a few weekends away, a few different small groups of friends, get invited to social events.... all fairly ordinary.

What is it that you are missing? Is it that you crave a 'best friend' to see regularly and confide stuff in?

@perfectcolourfound maybe it’s a best friend I crave, I do have my sister who I would consider my best friend, I can confide in her completely but I’m not her best friend. She is best friend to lots of people.

it used to be me that made loads of friends, had loads of confidence and now it’s like the table has turned and now it’s my sister. We’re not really seen and two separate people now and as she’s the more social one I feel that people forget I’m there.

a prime example was a garden party two weeks ago where one of ladies tagged everyone except me in on social media (until I liked it and then she tagged me) it sound silly as I’m not one for social media but just made feel a bit forgotten. Although I didn’t stay for the after drinks, I was still there in the day.

I have fewer social connections than that (no family, single) but I am very happy with the few friends I do have. I dont go out that much socially either, I'm usually on my own. I like my own company. My point is not to compare quantities but resulting contentment. You sound a bit down, or restless perhaps, unhappy with your lot in life. There is only one answer to that - change it! And only you can DO that.