Want ex husband out of my house

[BumsnetHQ]

Bit of back story; we split in October 2022 and agreed that I would stay in the house (rented, now transferred in my name only) and he would move out. It's now been 6 months and he's still here.

He doesn't work and refuses to find a job. He says no landlords will except him because he has no money for deposit and no guarantor. So that's it, we stay in this limbo. We have a 3 year old DD and split time with her 50/50 so he's here half the week and at his new gfs house/his mum's the other half. He only pays me £100/per month towards everything he and DD use (gas, electric, internet,etc) while he's here.

I'm completely trapped, I can't force him to leave because then my daughter would have no where to go for his half of the week (his mum has a big dog, not safe around kids). He's had his gf in my house while I was away to meet my child after knowing her a couple weeks. I can't even live normally in my house while he's looking after DD because she kicks up a huge fuss if she sees me during his time, so half the week I'm stuck upstairs not being able to do anything. Do I have any options here? I'm on benefits as I have a long term health condition and receive PIP.

Perhaps you could move out and leave your DD there with him full time? He could then be a single parent on benefits, whilst you get on with your life, and see DD as much as you think is suitable for your needs and hers.

I think social services need to be involved here and I NEVER thought I’d have to comment that ever.

It sounds like he’s really taking the Mickey out of you here.. having his new gf in your house whilst you’re away 🙈 I would be livid.

I agree with other posts when they say pack up his things.

do you have any help from your family?

is it an option to have the dog in another room whilst your daughter goes to his mothers?

I don't want to put what I really think as I have already put my foot in it today on here.
But @BumsnetHQ COME ON. You are being used and this is not good for any of you.

What outcome are you hoping for? There seems to be reason all suggestions given so far wouldn’t work for you.

You seem to be finding a way to say no to any solution suggested. I don’t think you want advice? Just to vent?

Time for you to make a decision. You are enabling his behaviour. He needs to leave and make his own arrangements for contact. Won’t your child be going to nursery shortly?

Charge him more while he is there. That might change his mind and get him out

Also look into support for yourself. Best wishes

So, neither of you are working, and he can't look after your child elsewhere; but you need him to look after your child 50/50?
I can't really see options with his living situation.

You have divorced really fast, which surprised me.
I know this isn't inexpensive.

If you're not able/keen to parent, and he is, I agree that you could move - if this is an option?

I had to share a home with my ex husband for 9 months, until I could buy another house.
Fortunately I was able to do this, but the 50/50 during that time was miserable.
He was staying in the marital home, so I stayed with friends and family on 'his' days. I did return at 6am to organize the children, and drop to childcare on 'his' days. I also put them to bed on 'his' days.

Regardless, divorce wasn't so easy then. Took the best part of 3 years.

This. His domestic issues are not your problem.

Tell him the arrangement ends as of next weekend and it is up to him to provide appropriately for his child. Take back your key.

Stop being a doormat.