Talk some sense into me

[2023istheworst]

I am 6 months out of a relationship of 2 years. We lived 2 hours apart but met through work.

I wasn't that keen at first but had been alone for a while so thought ok.
I am a single parent
We get on great I never met anyone who treated me as great.
4 months in I get a call from a girl to tell me that I am with her boyfriend he lives with her in the week and was telling her he was working away
Long story short I believe him the girl is a jealous ex just mad because he has moved on
I choose to believe him.
The next 2 years I am his world I mean literally would do anything for me until I wasn't. Out of the blue
Dumped but was bread crumbing me for a month till I found out he was seeing someone else after that cut off
All over social media how happy he is.
I went complete no contact even though he has never tried to contact me either
But this has effected my whole life I now have depression and anxiety.
I feel scared and hopeless all the time.
I obsess constantly
All I can think about is how good he treated me and I will never find that again
I just don't see a way out

It wasn't real.

Block.

Get some therapy to help you move past it.

Get on with your life and don't look back.

What an utter utter arsehole
That must have been brutal
I've been through similar only I had to still work in the same office as the bastard

He didn't treat you well because for him the relationship was a lie - he wasn't committed to you although he led you to believe he was.

You were deceived by someone who was a practised liar. Looking back were there any signs you didn't pick up on or dismissed, perhaps due to things he told you?

I would find it hard to get over feeling I had been idiot and I would get angry. But then you can't let anger towards him eat you up. He's not worth any of your energies.

@qqq82 I have to work with them both him and the new gf. Although I am a remote worker 2 hours away. So I don't actually see them & don't have to speak but I feel their presence I hate it

@WeAreTheHeroes yes looking back stories didn't add up regarding the ex girlfriend. But I was so caught up in this amazing person I had found. I am too sad to be angry he's taken my sparkle I used to be such a fun person

Don't let him take your sparkle! Find your anger and try to move on. I would also advise not to have relationships with colleagues as there's no getting away from them and no closure if you still have to deal with them in work.

He didn’t treat you well. At all. He cheated on you with one girl ( that you know of) and then another. He kept you dangling on a line as a backup, or for extra nookie. You thinking he treated you well is you seeing the good parts, but really this sounds to me like it was a bit of love bombing that went on for a long amount of time. A lot of sweetie pies turn out to be sour. How did he treat you well? Did he take you on hols, out to dinner, long walks on the beach? Buy you nice gifts just for being you, tell you you meant the world to him? Because

that is what I would expect of any man I was dating: that isn’t above and beyond, it's s fairly basic standard. what I would say is, it wasn’t your fault that he treated you like this. He obviously is a serial cheater and you don’t need a man like that.
Of course you will meet someone else and they will treat you much better as they won’t cheat on you! In the long run you might be better for this experience, you have learned your own lessons from it and hopefully you’ll see the warning light on in future relationships.
Therapy would probably help heaps.

He was using you. Learn from it and move on.

@Shivvy120 thank you for your advice.
I think because it was such a long time since my last relationship that I forgot being nice probably is just the basics.
I have started counselling so I hope it helps and I definitely won't be as trusting as I was

Brush up your CV, maybe do a training or course and go after a big promotion at a different company. Focus on building up yourself. You'll feel amazing and he'll still be the same loser.