Advice on leaving

[LHJ21]

Hi,

Me and my husband have been together 19 years, we have three children, 16, 12 and 10.
I need to leave my husband, to be honest I should have left years ago due to his verbally aggressive behaviour when he drinks.
I have noticed a change in him recently and have now found out that drugs are involved. This evening I have found his stash hidden behind a kitchen skirting board. All this time he’s been making me feel crazy. But he’s been going to work as normal, but on his days off he is just an arsehole at home that even the kids don’t like him being around.
Apparently he’s been smoking weed for months, he doesn’t see an issue with it, and I know others don’t but for me I don’t like it and don’t want the father of my kids doing this. He’s been smoking it outside for an our neighbours to obviously smell, I’m mortified. He is putting it before me and the kids.

I don’t have the money to leave, he is refusing to leave. I have my mum and dad nearby but he can be a nasty piece of work and don’t want him bringing any trouble to their door. Plus I know my kids would drive my dad insane, he hasn’t got much patience with them.
I need to get my kids away, I don’t know how.

Am I in the wrong over it? Am I making it a big deal when it doesn’t need to be?

Firstly get any wages and child benefit paid into an account of your own.
Do you own your own home, do you have private pensions ?
Contact a family solicitor for advice, or you can pay to file for divorce on line and then see a solicitor.
You could also contact Women’s Aid for,advice.

Check what you are entitled to https://www.entitledto.co.uk/
Move as much money as you can into your own account (50% of savings etc)
Speak to Women’s Aid. Try a solicitor to see if you can get him out of the house.
If you rent it’s worth checking your tenancy agreement, there is sometimes a clause about drug use, there’ll almost certainly be one about anti social behaviour ( drunken shouting and smoking cannabis where it affects others would come under this)

@DustyLee123 All my wages and bills/child benefit go into my account. I only work 24hrs and he works more. His wages go into his account. I have hardly any savings left, we just had a big holiday so everything went on that.
I have a work pension, but again not a lot. We don’t own our home, we have joint tenancy with a housing association.
I will try Women’s Aid too.

Thank you.

@AgrathaChristie Thank you, I’ll definitely look into the tenancy agreement. I know he won’t go easily and really don’t want to cause any further trouble.

I would also seek legal advice re divorce as knowledge here is also power.

Start squirrelling away money, get cash back and keep it somewhere safe. Anything in your account is joint money at divorce.
start saving up points with Tesco. Sainsburys