Taking Mumsnet advice

[Tamrastarr]

I would love to know who has taken Mumsnet advice, after posting a question, and how it has gone for them. The good and the bad.

I didn't listen to the advice and my life went to shit and my finances got trashed.

Take the advice

I've seen many, many updates from women who've taken MN advice and left their abuser. All thrive, even if it takes a little time to organise.. Their relief is palpable and immense.

I have name changed since my posts.

I had already made the decision to leave my abuser but MN helped me along the way and make it final. I am a different woman and I have never felt happier. I feel free and unstoppable

Listen to the advice! The advice comes from women/men that have been through similar experiences.

luckypebbles I wonder if you are a very recent escapee, I've been thinking about a very recent one who had their thread deleted on advice here, and hoping it all went to plan.

Someone gave me great advice regarding my under active thyroid and it resulted in me managing to lower my levels slightly and I feel much less tired and low as a result.

I remember one woman who had been going through a terrible time with her alcoholic husband. She got her ducks in a row, important documents, "decluttered" stuff over weeks, stuff which was kept safe by her friends/family, packed up incl furniture and moved with her children (helped by her lovely family and friends who turned up in cars and furnisher vans) and decamped to her new home. I think her boss even helped by making life easier at work, giving her time off etc.

A few days later she sent us a photo of her on her armchair/sofa - just her feet and legs stretched out) with a glass of wine I think.

That was such a lovely picture. I was so happy for her - I hope life is still treating her and her children well. 🌹

This is a great idea for a thread. I’m lucky in that I haven’t needed to ask Mumsnet for support but I contribute where I can, based on my own knowledge and experience. While some advice borders on the criminal/insane/just plain rude, the vast majority of people share useful experiences from a range of different perspectives ranging from practical advice (hide your passport/find bank statements etc.) to emotional scaffolding, and helps people feel less alone during trying times. Sometimes, just knowing someone has been in your shoes and got through it is hugely helpful to your confidence, and also helps keep the ship steady when you’re being gaslit or facing abuse. I honestly think it’s an invaluable resource that’s there when it is needed most. Ultimately, of course, you do not have to take all or any of the advice, but at the very least it will help you consider the range of options available to you, including some you may not have thought about.

I listened to advice given to someone else and had a dark mark under a toenail looked at - I was fast tracked to oncology and treated within weeks.
Thank you, mystery Mumsnetters.

I posted for relationship advice about my (now ex) husband a few years ago. The replies gave me the courage and validation I needed...I ended up in a women's refuge & left him about two weeks after my first post. I owe everything to the people on that post and will be forever grateful. I'm now in such a happy, loving, supportive relationship x

I had enormously good advice when my marriage to my alcoholic late husband was detonating all around me. Some of it was big things, other bits were small stuff around looking after myself and DDs. Those threads kept me going and kept me sane.

I try to pay it forward these days when I come across post from women who are living with someone in addiction - both on here and in RL.

ive recently found a black mark on my big toenail, what advice would you give. I’ve googled and thinking the worst x

Get a GP appointment as soon as you can. There are several things it can be including a blood blister, a freckle, mole or fungal infection so try not to worry. If its bad news its treatable, and the sooner you are seen the better.

Thank you!

MN told me my was abusive , he was
MN told me it would fuck up my kids , sadly it did one
MN told me my more recent ex was bad for my MH - he was ! And it’s over

it’s often brutal to read bit the trust the views on here more than my friends tbh

A good friend confided in me that she was unsure whether the behaviour of a (very long-term) ex was beginning to turn stalkerish; some incidents in isolation seemed so trivial, it felt silly to bother the police.
Thanks to other threads on Mumsnet, I was able to steer her in the direction of the Suzy Lamplugh Trust, and, rather to her surprise, they took the matter seriously and matters were resolved.

It's so nice to hear that this works. I think that some of the posters on Mumsnet are extremely strong. I just seem to plod along, even though I come across as strong IRL

So, I didn't listen twice and twice put myself through deep shit.
Regret it now but it's too late.

The first time I thought the posters didn't know my abusive ex in real life, I was convincing myself he was much better than people on MN thought he was and it was only my distorted recollection of events that painted him in a bad light.
Turned out he was even worse when we split.

The second time round, I have moved in with my current P. I posted about a few awkward arguments we had at the start of living together and how I felt trapped. Was told he is another abuser and I've to move out. I haven't, was too embarrassed to admit I failed again. One year later I'm still here and I'm dreaming about getting away from him. I do think about MN advice when the times are hard and yes, it would be so much better if I listened

I did exactly this, before mumsnet existed. The twat found a new victim but she has since escaped, too. We keep in regular contact.