Reposting here for traffic. Perhaps MN couldn't remove my other post?
This could be a long post but I will do my best to be concise.
DM and DF have been together a long time. Around 45 years as a couple.
I am their adult child.
DP relationship has always been unstable.
Frequent separations when I was a child etc. not living as a family for long periods of time. DF having other partners.
DM always stayed by herself and looked after me. She was the constant parent.
At some point they reconciled and have been "together" since. Although their together is not my idea of together.
DF basically comes and goes as he pleases. Is at home one night out of seven. We have no idea where he is on other nights.
To be Frank I'm an adult. Have had this my entire life and don't really care where he is. It is normal to me. I have my own family and home.
I see DF once every 4/6 months but speak intermittently. I believe he speaks to DM far more frequently.
Anyway, I have always know he is terrible with money. Spends vastly more than he has and my DM always bails him out. I think this is ludicrous and have told her so but she is extremely passive and does what he says because he is very domineering and she doesn't stand up to him.
She has now found herself in a situation where she is deeply unhappy and is finally seeing how bad things have become. I want to help as much as possible but don't want to overstep my bounds. I'm still DC. To both of them.
Any advice would be appreciated. I'm really at the end of my tether