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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Relationship breakdown

21 replies

Boboobear · 17/05/2023 22:06

I'm worried about my daughter. She has 3 beautiful children and last week her partner of 12 years left the family home. She's usually a strong woman but this has left her broken. He's been taking anabolic steroids and his moods were up and down. My daughter found out that he had been seeing another woman ( he denies it) and he's been nothing but cruel to her the last few weeks, calling her names and just using bullying tactics for a reaction.He says he wants to end their relationship for good. He's never given her any reason not to trust him in the past so this has been a shock to us all. The house is on his name but she has made it a home. Can he make her leave the house or does she have a right to live there until the children leave school? I'm seeking some advice from a solicitor this week but any replies would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Youdoyoubabe · 17/05/2023 22:08

Is she married to him? Probably fewer rights if not.

If he has left she should probably sit tight there for now. Poor love.

LiliLil · 17/05/2023 22:11

If they’re not married she has no rights to the house. Is it rented or mortgaged?

Speak to a solicitor as soon as you are able to.

Original poster
Boboobear · 17/05/2023 22:21

No they are not married and the house is mortgaged in his name. Thanks for your replies. We will speak to a solicitor this week.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 17/05/2023 22:26

Boboobear · 17/05/2023 22:21

No they are not married and the house is mortgaged in his name. Thanks for your replies. We will speak to a solicitor this week.

Oh dear 🤦‍♀️

Does she at least have a job?

Original poster
Boboobear · 17/05/2023 22:30

Yes she works full time.

OP posts:
Anaemiafog · 17/05/2023 22:31

She has no rights to stay there if they're not married. I'm shocked neither of you seem to have realised all she'll be entitled to is child maintenance. You're wasting money getting legal advice.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/05/2023 22:34

Why would you waste money on a solicitor? They aren't married, she's not entitled to anything aside from child maintenance.

Help her by helping her find a new home so she can get away from that horrible man.

Zanatdy · 17/05/2023 23:17

Sadly no she’s not entitled to stay. Even married that’s rare to grant that now. I’m afraid she will have to rent or buy on her own. Not nice - I feel for her

YouDoYouHun · 17/05/2023 23:37

I know all too well the damage that can be caused by steroid abuse and how it feels to be in a situation like hers, it's awful. It could be worth getting legal advice if she has contributed anything to the home above and beyond usual bills and maintenance costs such as any significant contribution to works like an extension? Contribution to any mortgage repayments? If so, she could potentially have a beneficial interest in the property. Your post doesn't say how long they have lived in the home together but if you think she could be entitled, then a chat with a legal advisor is definitely what she needs. The worst she can be told is not much chance anyway and it wouldn't leave her in any worse position than she is now? Other than that, child maintenance as others have said.

Youknownorhing · 18/05/2023 08:03

It depends. Is he is in a financial position to contribute over and above normal CM. Could he afford two homes ? ie 2x mortgage or mortgage and rent ?

If so then it's worth looking for a solicitor that is well versed in the Children's Act . This site actually explains it quite clearly. Have a read and see if you think it is something worth discussing with your lawyer.

www.brabners.com/blogs/what-schedule-1-children-act-1989

Original poster
Boboobear · 18/05/2023 12:41

Thank you all so much for all your replies. We've spoken to a family friend who's a solicitor (free of charge) and he has confirmed that my daughter and her children can stay there until the children are 18. We also mentioned the beneficial interest in the property as my daughter paid for improvements and my husband renovated the property from a shell 8 years ago.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 18/05/2023 12:46

That sounds highly unlikely. But good luck to her.

YouDoYouHun · 18/05/2023 12:53

Boboobear · 18/05/2023 12:41

Thank you all so much for all your replies. We've spoken to a family friend who's a solicitor (free of charge) and he has confirmed that my daughter and her children can stay there until the children are 18. We also mentioned the beneficial interest in the property as my daughter paid for improvements and my husband renovated the property from a shell 8 years ago.

Glad you've spoken to someone :) what I mentioned is what's called a TOLATA claim. Wishing your daughter all the luck!

LiliLil · 18/05/2023 15:36

Honestly OP, that doesn’t sound right at all but best of luck to her.

RayofSunshine18 · 18/05/2023 16:26

I have had legal advice on this myself, however, from the other point of view. I own my home and my partner lives with me. He would be entitled to a LOT more than you think if we were to split. Its not just as simple as 'its his house and you're not married' any more if she can prove she financially contributed to it. The Law changed so people like your daughter are not just left homeless in these sorts of situations. This might help:

https://www.ftb.help/when-one-partner-owns-the-house-cohabitation-rights/

cohabiting partners moving in together to a new home

Cohabitation Rights: When One Partner Owns The House | First Time Buyer Help

If you are buying a house on your own, one question you might have is: when one partner owns the house, what are the rights and risks for the other partner?

https://www.ftb.help/when-one-partner-owns-the-house-cohabitation-rights

Pinkbonbon · 18/05/2023 17:44

Why would she stay in a house that doesn't belong to her?

It's his house.
You can't just steal someone's house even if they are a total wanker.And obviously he will move back in. He's not just going to give his house up lol.

Get her out of there asap. She can pursue him legally for the money she put towards renovations.

YouDoYouHun · 18/05/2023 18:05

Pinkbonbon · 18/05/2023 17:44

Why would she stay in a house that doesn't belong to her?

It's his house.
You can't just steal someone's house even if they are a total wanker.And obviously he will move back in. He's not just going to give his house up lol.

Get her out of there asap. She can pursue him legally for the money she put towards renovations.

It's not just about the money for renovations, it's the effect on market price, plus other contributions. He may be the legal title owner, but by significantly contributing financially, a trust could have been created (either constructive or resulting) meaning that she could potentially be a beneficial owner as well as him so entitled to equity in the property.

YouDoYouHun · 18/05/2023 18:07

TOLATA - Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act - is the act a potential claim could be made under.

GoodChat · 18/05/2023 18:10

I don't know why people are saying she can't possibly stay there if the house isn't in her name.

How long has she lived there OP?

Original poster
Boboobear · 18/05/2023 20:42

Thanks again for your replies. @goodchat He bought the house in 2015 when my daughter was pregnant with their first child and my husband did most of the renovations there while he sat back and watched because he's useless.

OP posts:
GoodChat · 18/05/2023 20:43

Boboobear · 18/05/2023 20:42

Thanks again for your replies. @goodchat He bought the house in 2015 when my daughter was pregnant with their first child and my husband did most of the renovations there while he sat back and watched because he's useless.

She's got a very good chance of being allowed to stay if that's the case

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